G'Day From Downunder

How are you doing? Did the mother-law drop in to see you last week? Gee, here we are already into the second month of the year and I've hardly had time to chuck the Christmas wrappings in the bin and put my man bikini away after my long stint at the beach. Along with it being the Christmas break, I'm assuming you all understand that it's also summer holidays time here in Oz. You might think it strange having Christmas and summer holidays all in the one package, but that's how it is here in our upside-down world.

We are no sooner over one celebration than the Irish here are already talking about the next celebration, St Patrick's Day Downunder. I haven't even had time to lose the weight I put on over Christmas never mind the thought of putting on more over the St Pat's long weekend.

The Prince of Pipers - Finbar Furey - is performing here over the St Pat's week and soon after we'll have The Script performing their magic blend of music, in the major arenas, as I predicted they would some years back.

The Irish here in Oz are always as keen as mustard to make the Irish patron saint's day a stand out day. Yes, I know it's early days to be talking about this, but there is so much more enthusiasm this year due to the large number of Irish that have migrated here over the last year. They mainly came to the mining areas of Queensland and Western Australia there is lots happening to keep young Irish migrants busy and connected to home over the next few months.

While many are homesick, I don't think they would swap the sunshine and high salaries of Australia for financially barren Ireland, with its chilly north winds and western rains at this time of year. Being Irish in Australia these days is not like when I came here thirty-eight years ago when all foreigners were called 'wogs' and 'dagoes' and an exception was made for the Irish - we were just called 'The Paddies'.

Nowadays, with the Irish accent having the title of the sexiest on earth, this makes my successors really cool.

Many of you may remember Charlotte O'Byrne who spent a little over ten years in New York. She is going to be here to partake in the celebration, and no doubt, she will hold a green pint or two to her lips to mark the occasion. Speaking of Charlotte O'Byrne I have heard on the grapevine that she is working on a major project soon to be announced. Assuming it comes to fruition it will be groundbreaking, a cue for Cork and historical in the making.

Don't sweat, the sports and party mad Aussies have not been neglected, when it comes to celebrations Downunder. The Cricket season is in full swing while the Tennis Grand Slam just finished last week on Australia Day weekend. The Formula One Grand Prix will be upon us in St Patrick's week and the Australian Rules football season starts soon after. If you think Aussie Rules is no big deal, let me tell you that it's not out of the ordinary to have a hundred thousand fanatical fans at a game here in Melbourne's MCG grounds just to support any two of the local teams.

The rain God has vanished from the Australian radar screen as we continue to get more than our fair share of sunshine. The extreme hot weather has caused enormous problems for fire fighters. They are tackling the many bush fires that burn in all states except Queensland and parts of New South Wales (which is flooded).

Disturbingly, not all the fires were caused by lightning; arson was also a big contributor. Many homes and lives were lost, so too was a large number of native wild life. There were also many thousands of acres of land destroyed. Talk about variety, doesn't Australia remind you of that lovely old James Taylor song 'Fire and Rain'.

Our Prime Minister Julia Gillard has finally called an election for; wait for it, are you ready for this? September 14th, a seven-month campaign. It will be the longest election campaign in the history of Australia and no doubt the politicians will have driven us all totally mad by the time to vote comes around. All Australians want is to vote tomorrow and get rid of one of the most disliked PMs of all time. Being the first female PM Julia had a brilliant opportunity to make history; instead she made an absolute shambles of the job.

She fumbled her way from one disaster to another, constantly scheming ways to keep herself in power rather than getting on with running the country. She is the leader of a minority party and she is constantly cow-towing to the independent members and not ruling, but concentrating on staying in the job that she destroyed her predecessor Kevin Rudd (who was a truly elected PM) for.

I am informed that Australia contributes one percent of the carbon pollution in the world. Just as an example of Julia's governing, she introduced a carbon tax in Australia. Julia had to agree to the Greens party demand to introduce a carbon tax because if she did not agree to their demands she would have had to have an election that she would certainly have lost.

There is no logic as to why Australia should have a carbon tax, as we are not even a bleep on the radar screen compared to what China and the USA contribute to the environment. Talk about hypocrisy, Australia has a carbon tax to help the environment and yet we supply China one of the biggest polluters in the world with the materials to make even more pollution. All Australians will be waiting with baited breath for the 14th, it's the cr**, and bulls*** that the politicians will dish up in the meantime that puts a nasty taste in our mouths.

We have just learned now that Julia had done a back door deal with some of her ministers who are stepping down from their positions - if they go prior to an election, no by-election will be held, and Julia remains in power.

This situation has arisen because she has called for and named a date for a federal election to be on September 14th. Funny how this information comes out NOW after the election is called and NOT before. This is typical of her cunning style of politics, which is to stay in power at all cost; she wonders why the public have such a distrust of her. All she has to do is look at her record in office and it will show her why she is so unpopular.

She has recently acquired a new image to make her look softer, having a stylist putting a pair of glasses on her face to fool the voters. I've got news for you Julia, my mother told me years ago that you can't make a racehorse out of a donkey.

Until I talk to you again, be good to those who love you and Slainte from Downunder.

You can catch me on mbowen@afsvic.com.au