There Is No Justice: Bono And The Dalai Lama Are Still Here And Rory Gallagher Is Not

"I detest machines. The problem started when they discovered the wheel. You're not going to tell me that the camera is a machine: it is the most marvellous piece of divinity ever created."
-Sam Peckinpah echoing my views on nonsense like Twitter and Facebook

By Charley Brady

Now I just have to put my hands up and admit that I may be the world's biggest asshole. In fact I probably give those guys a bad name. I drink too much and by God do I love a fight. (Which I usually lose).

I probably quote Shakespeare too much as well which is often the reason that I get into fights in the first place. Let's tell the truth here, if you like sports better than you like reading the Bard then you deserve a good punch in the head.

That just makes me an idiot. What I don't believe is that anyone has ever called me, even behind my back, a hypocrite. When they put something on my tombstone, which will be very small since I'm getting cremated, they might print: TOTAL JERK, BUT NOT A HYPOCRITE. I can live with that, although come to think of it I'll be dead at the time so that doesn't really come into it.

I know that Americans don't want to hear this, but one of the biggest hypocrites alive just has to be Bono of U2.

If you have read this column for any length of time then you know how I feel about the little weasel and it always comes down to STOP PREACHING, STOP HAVING YOUR HAND OUT LOOKING FOR CHARITY FOR COUNTRIES THAT HAVE BUGGER ALL TO DO WITH YOU AND START PAYING TAX IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY.

You know, Enya I get. She may be avoiding paying tax here as well. If I could get away with it so would I! But she doesn't preach! She doesn't tell you how to live while swanning around the world hugging despots. On top of that she actually writes music that I can listen to without having a massive brain embolism.

U2? Would you give me a freaking break?

So you can imagine how happy I was on this fine Bank Holiday morning when I heard that at the Glastonbury Festival a group of people will be demonstrating against the little shade wearing clown as he turns up to bore people to death with his interminably, endless, cringe making "music".

Now I'm not one that ever in my wildest dreams would use something as dopey as Facebook but apparently there a couple of sane people who use it and who have set up something called "Bono Pay Up"

A spokesman for Art Uncut - yeah, I know, they sound like a bunch of lunatics that I wouldn't like to be sharing a joint with either - said:

"Bono claims to care about the developing world, but U2 greedily indulges in the very kind of tax avoidance that is crippling poor nations.

"We will be showing the very real impact of U2's tax avoidance on hospital and schools in Ireland."

So yeah, I don't care how off the wall these guys are, they are all right with me. It's about time somebody showed the vain little midget up for what he is.

By the way, guys and gals: Why in the name of all that is holy are you going to an open air concert for anyway?

I went to the Reading Festival in 1977 and apart from seeing the great, great Rory Gallagher all I came away with was the idea that when I grew up I would never ever lie in mud again, but always use the best of hotels.

Come to think of it, God, if It existed, really does have a sense of humour. A genius like Rory Gallagher died way too young and we're still stuck with likes of Bono. And Cliff Richards. And Liberace. OK, I cheated on the last one but sometimes it feels like he still is.

Trying to cheer myself up, at least we still have Dylan and Lou Reed.

God, I am feeling my age today.

Hope to see you all again next week.

Same Bono-time!

Same Bono-channel!

You can reach Charley at chasbrady7@eircom.net