Amanda, William And My Aunt Mavis Are Listening: And They Are Not Too Impressed With Obama Any More

"The Republicans are so happy about bin Laden they've granted President Obama full citizenship."
- David Letterman

"All right. Let them remain bastards if they wish; as for me, I want to know where I came from and why and what relationship I hold to the rest of the universe."
- Letter from Robert E. Howard, 1928

By Charley Brady

So there you go: as hard as it is for me to believe, this is my 150th article for Irish Examiner USA.

When I first wrote an extremely sarcastic, belligerent note to Paddy, the publisher of this paper and he put me on to Grahame, my long suffering editor, I never thought that I would last this long.

I think that they wondered if my bile was genuine; if my distaste for the status quo was authentic; if my little pot of vitriol was actually a bottomless pit of hatred for what I see as so wrong with this crazy world. Well, now you know, my friends. Now you know. You can't fake what I feel about this sick, nasty world.

I hope that somewhere along the way you saw the other side of me also. The side that enjoys walking in the woods, listening to music, watching a movie or reading a book that makes you think. Getting drunk occasionally; getting very drunk occasionally; arguing with people. It's all part of what makes us human.

I've not always been proud of my behaviour, but I've always been me. As much as I've messed up, there's a lot of people who can't say that.

Still, I didn't expect my 150th week to have been so dramatic: I mean, we've had a Royal Wedding that I didn't really expect so many Irish people to be engrossed in.

That's OK, it's a kind of affirmation of life, I suppose, even if I just see it as honouring another generation of spongers. What the hell, this particular young couple haven't personally done me any harm, unlike the Irish politicians that power was handed over to so freely.

Do you know who does real and untold damage to this country? To each and every one of us as we attempt to once more take to the global stage? The dangerous clowns of the Real IRA, as they so hilariously term themselves. You know, the guys who wouldn't know what a ballot box was is if it jumped out of the toilet bowl and bit them on the ass.

Now we find out that they were preparing to go armed into the Temple Bar region of Dublin, a place where not only do ordinary people live in but where ordinary people congregate in order to have a drink, a meal or just hopefully a good time. Why armed thugs being let loose in such an area where there are bound to be "civilian" casualties can expect to espouse the "cause of Irish Freedom" just because they don't like the fact that a Head of State - in this case, the English Queen - is visiting, absolutely baffles me.

It baffles and sickens me. At least we know of what they were thinking of now, so hopefully everything is in place to stop these idiots.

Following on from the Royal Wedding, of course we had the beatification of the late Pope John Paul II. Thousands travelled to Rome to fill the coffers of the Roman Catholic Church and attempt to give credence to a man who presided over one of the worst cover ups in the history of this discredited church. I'm talking about the veil of silence that he drew over his child rapists, the Devils in Dog Collars.

Why we are honouring such a man is once more a mystery to me. I suppose people - the Faithful - get something out of it. Well, they must do. No one wants to believe that they will be extinguished with their death. So I guess that people will cling on to whatever shreds of supposed evidence they are given, no matter how implausible.

I find it absolutely stomach turning to think people believe that looking at a vial of the late Pope's blood would do them any good. There's something profoundly approaching necrophilia in this kind of Middle Ages thinking.

A day doesn't go by that I don't think of Tom Brady, my father. He believed all of this nonsense. I once asked him if he believed in the literal changing of the bread into the flesh of the Christ. Well, of course he did. That's what Faith with a capital F is and for all I know he might be right; but I don't think so. Either way, he was a good man.

Whether there is a God or not, I think that particular Entity, if It existed would be as puzzled as I am at watching the egregious pomp, ceremony, narcissism and ego massaging that took place outside and in the Vatican.

And if Jesus the Man that I believe existed - not the Deity, not the Son of God, the Man - could see what has been done his name, I think that he would join me in trying to tear such arrogance from the face of the Earth. After all, I always like reading about him running amok with the venal bloody money changers.

"Do not make My Father's House a house of merchandise."

Yeah, I can live with that and since it is one of the incidents that is mentioned in all four of the Synoptic Gospels I truly believe that it happened. Also, before I get mail telling me that this may have been two separate incidents, I know and am inclined to agree. So save your emails.

I believe in my heart that we have done a great disservice to a man (and I'll emphasise that again, a man) who has given so much to the world through his teachings and his wonderful parables. Just don't expect me to believe that he was some sort of supernatural being. Just don't expect that.

So: to the third and final act in a week that has seen so many dramatic events. It is of course the killing of Osama bin Laden.

I don't want to dwell on this too much as I have a feeling that my friend and far better half in these Opinion columns, Alicia Colon, might just have something to say on this.

So just a few observations:

I found the American celebrations just hours after his death was announced pretty horrific. Yes, it can be argued that it was understandable. I don't deny that. Yet to see Americans on the streets, waving their flags and showing their hastily written placards to every camera that came along... well, it just wasn't right. Excusable in the heat of the moment, I suppose, but just simply not right.

If you had digitally removed the American flag and put beards on the guys, it would have looked no different to morons in the Middle East burning effigies.

I have no feeling on the death of this lunatic except to say that the world is no poorer without the bastard in it. Still, we should have more dignity than them and no, I feel no remorse for putting it down to US and THEM.

Osama was the first guy to say that there was a War between extremist Muslims and the West. He's on record as starting that concept. There's something that you can't blame on Bush, even if he did go on to declare his ludicrous War on Terror.

War on Terror, my Aunt Mavis's black cat's ass: what the hell is that supposed to mean exactly?

Yet I can't help but feel that we should have the cop on NOT to "celebrate" in the manner that these swine have celebrated the deaths of our own.

Once again, folks: we should be better than that.

As for the Irish journalist Niall O'Dowd, what can you say?

Mr. O'Dowd is based in New York and is very successful, it has to be said. As well as his many writings in the States he also does a column over here called "Our Voice from New York".

His headline this week drew a few gasps of, well, disbelief, from certainly the Galway end of the country:

BEST WEEK YET FOR OBAMA TEAM, Osama Mission Silences Doubters.

I gotta tell you, that kind of threw a few people in The Olde Brewery who didn't realise that their doubts on The Great And Wonderful Oz has been silenced at all. In fact, we were kind of thinking that this looked suspiciously as if, when you pulled back the curtain, then you would see a very unnerved, well dressed man behind there. We'll get back to that.

Niall, pushing the Irish American buttons as far as they would press, talked breathlessly of: Vice President Joe Biden, Chief of Counterterror John Brennan and blah blah blah, ending with "great friend to Ireland Hillary Clinton".

He droned on:

"Joe Biden even had his Irish grandmother's rosary beads with him in the situation room".

I don't even know how to react to that. Joe Biden had his grandmother's rosary beads in the situation room? Wow. I, like Niall O'Dowd am utterly impressed at this show of gravitas as we wait to see a man being snuffed.

Her bloody rosary beads? Well, in this case I guess they were metaphorically very bloody rosary beads.

He warbles on:

"The now-famous photograph of the group shows them gaping at the TV screen, hope, fear and apprehension marked on their faces."

I guess that good old Niall was looking at a different photo to the one that I was looking at. I saw a black President that looked almost pale with doubt as to what he was doing and I saw Hillary Clinton with hand over her mouth. By the way, I think personally that Hillary is the real Commander in Chief. Excuse the crudity, because I've always kind of fancied Hillary, but she's the one with the balls.

What are the chances that Obama dithered his way through this?

For most of the rest of them? Just a bunch of middle aged white guys who had sanctioned a kill mission.

And I keep having to say this: it's right that they killed him. What point would there have been in arresting the sod?

But the Ground Zero display? Well, Niall O'Dowd might be giving us his Obama flag waving from New York but I'm giving it to you from Oranmore, County Galway.

We were nauseated at the preening popinjay that Obama has become, working the crowd and stealing thunder that was never his. I personally thought that he was a disgrace and whatever regard I had for the man is now gone.

I never thought that I would give a cheer for George Bush but he did the dignified thing in staying away from these awful shenanigans.

Anyway, that's 150 put to bed. Can I offer a sincere thanks to all those who have emailed me over the years? I don't need to name check you, you know who are and you know that I appreciate it. Many of you have made me re-think what had been previously entrenched positions. I thank you for that. If you can't change a position then you're no longer thinking.

Many of you are nutters, but keep writing anyway. In these hard times there have been occasions when I've been short of toilet paper. So your ramblings come in handy.

May whatever God you believe in (or not) go with you. And thanks again.

Hope to see you all again next week...

Same bat-time!

Same bat-channel!

You can reach Charley at chasbrady7@eircom.net