G'Day From Downunder

Don't even mention a hot cuppa today as it's 40 degrees as I write this report. Maybe you can have a cuppa this week and I'll just write with a bag of ice on my lap and suck on an ice pole to keep cool.

Not alone is the weather hot this week there is also a lot of hot anger around the world. There was the bombing in Moscow airport and people are rising up in Tunisia and in Egypt, not to mention the chaotic, or should I say madhouse, condition of the Irish political situation as we speak.

They are worse than a hundred bold children in kindergarten; as chaotic as a bunch of mad monkeys locked up in a zoo; as selfish as a bunch of two-year-olds in a lolly shop and as conniving and self preserving as a venomous snake protecting her young.

You shouldn't be surprised with my comments here as I have never been secretive about my dislike of politicians. Why you may ask? Because they always prove me right; and to be honest I wish every now and again that they would prove me wrong, then I would know they got something right.

It defies logic why Cowen and his bunch of misfits would have wanted to hold on to power. Any rational person could tell it was a party that was dead and rotten.

They were so rotten even the worms would not touch them. The stench from the party even reached the shores of Australia and nearly wiped the biggest floods in history from our media reports.

It wasn't good enough for the government to decimate its own country it now wants to hang on to squeeze that last drop of juice from the lemon.

I suppose "all for the good of every man, woman and child in Ireland". How noble! Listen dead heads you had already squeezed the last drop from the lemon but you lacked the intelligence to realize it.

The cupboard is bare, absolutely nothing is left, not even a crumb for the church mouse. How about getting the party to register as undertakers and start by burying your egos and self importance?

Or why not join Pat Falvey on his epic journey to the North Pole? And when you arrive why not set up your own government there and see how long you can survive with just about as much as you left behind (in the once land of plenty), which is NOTHING!

Yeah, you lot go there and chill out and for God's sake don't worry about rushing back because no one wants you back and oh, by the way, I reckon you will get more votes from the Polar Bears than you will ever get back in Ireland.

I forgot to mention, if you forget to bring your warm clothes and die of exposure don't worry, you won't be missed because that's how the people who elected you to look after them feel. It's called what goes around comes around.

Just a final afterthought: how about taking Bertie Ahern north with your band of happy wanderers and maybe you can make his wish come true by building him a football stadium there? Wouldn't that be a nice act of kindness for and aging politician?

Isn't the world of politics full of strange bedfellows? Here in Australia in the 70s we had Malcolm Fraser a Liberal leader who in opposition, but in control of the upper house, stopped supply of funds to the Labour government of Gough Whitlam. Then Malcolm went to the Governor General (the Queen's representative in Australia) to have Gough fired as Prime Minister.

Malcolm then took over and he had a deputy Prime Minister, John Howard, as Treasurer (it is reported John failed maths in school' yep that's how you qualify to become treasurer). Bob Hawke and the Labour party followed Malcolm in the job with Paul Keating as his deputy Prime Minister; then Keating replaced Hawke. Bob had kept telling the Australians that Paul Keating was the best treasurer in the world and so Keating believed him and took his job.

John Howard then re-emerged as leader of the liberal party and deposed Keating in spite of Howard being ridiculed by the Australian press who constantly referred to him as 'Little Johnny Howard'.

Howard's deputy PM was Peter Costello also referred to as "the world's best treasurer". Howard lost his seat and an election to Kevin Rudd and the Labour party. Kevin's deputy was Julia Gillard. The votes were hardly counted as Julia replaced Kevin.

Now what do all those have in common? Never trust the one in front or behind you: Malcolm got Gough fired, Keating replaced Hawke who wouldn't give up power.

Keating lost the unlosable election because his arrogance and ego had moved on to a different planet. Howard refused to yield to Costello to whom he had promised to pass on the baton, but reneged when the time came. John's desperation to hold on to power and the constant bickering with Costello cost him his job.

Kevin Rudd hardly had time to put his elected arse on the hot seat (well about 30 months) when Julia Gillard whipped it out from under him with the help of the Trade Unions.

Now look at all the shenanigans that go on in the so-called Halls of Power and tell me; is politics a more honest and noble profession than a butcher or an electrician? I know who I would trust more.

So there you have the world of politics; lots of Julius Caesar jobs in Australia, Ireland, Tunisia and Egypt.

Either the pollies are getting stabbed in the back by their own people or they won't give up the power that they get hooked on. Maybe the truth is more like the fact that they get to think they can do as they wish rather than do what they were elected to do. Megalomania!

Yes I know it seems that everyone is laying the boot into the pollies at the moment and so it should be. Why not? The time to be accountable has arrived, halleluiah brothers, see you all in Hell!

Australia is recovering from the news that neither of the Williams sisters (those mega stars of ladies tennis) has taken a safe-load of prize money back to the USA this year.

It's not that your Treasury couldn't use a few bucks with your fourteen trillion debt. That pleasure went to Belgium's Kim Clijsters who picked up a cool $2.2 million. The men's prize of the same amount went to Novak Djokovic. Maybe I should have taken up tennis as a lad? And then again maybe it's not too late yet!

Until I talk to you again be good to those who love you and Slainte from Downunder! C

You can catch me on mike@globefins.com.au