Joe Kavanagh's Music News

The epic cross-continental charitable endeavor known as Live Aid will provide the subject matter for a major upcoming movie by the BBC, which intends to dramatize the frantic organizational efforts behind the legendary twin concerts that raised over $225 million for the starving people of Africa. The film, which is being made to commemorate the 25th anniversary of the music extravaganza, will focus predominantly on the actions of Bob Geldof and Harvey Goldsmith, the two men whose collective strength of will ensured that the dual concerts in London and Philadelphia went off with remarkably few hitches. The movie is expected to shed light on the tensions that occurred behind the scenes, as both men struggled with myriad egos in the music world, as well as their own forceful personalities. Geldof and Goldsmith will be played by Domhnall Gleeson and Ian Hart respectively, a pair of actors that are best known for appearing in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which seems slightly symmetrical given the fact that Bob Geldof has enjoyed his own peripheral brush with wizardry, having been called Gandalf by certain clueless types (stand up Joss Stone). Speaking to Absolute Radio about the Live Aid experience last week, the former Boomtown Rats singer declared: "It sounds pious now, but I was absolutely aware of what this was about, and although it would have been a personal cock-up, I think to let down those in whose name all these people were doing it would have been criminally irresponsible." Geldof has subsequently gone on to become on of the loudest and most articulate voices with regard to Africa's problems...

While we are on the subject of evangelically inclined Irish singers, Bono is back - or rather Bono's back is back - with his announcement last week that he is on the road to recovery since his emergency spinal surgery back in May. Speaking into a handheld video recorder for the benefit of the band's website, the front man proclaimed: "I can sit. I can stand. I can move around a bit. Feeling strong, feeling confident. And I'm ready - rebuilt by German engineering, better design I'm told - and I'm going to be fighting fit next summer." I suppose it's too much to hope that they might have fitted him with a temporary mute button that we can all occasionally trigger by collective wishing. He probably shouldn't try lifting his wallet without assistance any time soon if he wants to keep his bad back in order, as U2 were named as the top-earning musical act from last year, having netted a cool $130 million. Fans holding tickets to the Irish group's postponed US dates shouldn't get too excited however, as the band also admitted that they will not be resuming their tour until May of next year...

Perhaps the next time Bono has a health issue, he can talk to that legend of vitality and wellbeing, Ozzy Osbourne. For those of you that think I've been hitting the pipe, let me just remind you that Ozzy was recently given his own column on matters of health by the esteemed Sunday Times magazine, whose editorial process has presumably been hijacked by a fifth columnist from the gutter press. In last week's column, Ozzy recounted a particular episode he experienced during his drug-taking Black Sabbath days. In the bard's own words: "I wouldn't recommend that anyone takes acid. Ever. Once, when I was having a bad trip in the 1970s, I pulled a gun on Black Sabbath's drummer, my good friend Bill Ward, and it freaked him out so much he's never talked about it since." He probably hasn't talked about it because he was most likely sitting there thinking to himself, 'Why in the heck is Ozzy threatening me with a banana?' Evidently not one to heed his own advice, Ozzy goes on to recall another occasion spent on LSD, writing: "On the other hand, it does open your mind to certain things. I remember once walking into a field in Staffordshire (England) when I was high as a kite and having a long conversation with a cow. After a while, the cow turned to another cow and said, 'Bugger me, that bloke can talk.'" It's a good job the cow didn't utter that last sentence to Ozzy or it might have been walking with a limp in its hind quarters for a few days...

Speaking of people that have endured rough experiences with substances, Sophie Ellis Bextor confessed that she has stuck to a vow she made as a teenager to drink responsibly, due to an embarrassing moment which occurred between her and her father after a few beverages. The Murder On The Dancefloor singer told Closer magazine: "When I was 16 my dad took me to a party. I knocked back several glasses of champagne not realizing it was alcoholic. I don't like getting drunk or being out of control so it was my worst nightmare. I fell down the stairs and told my dad all about the boys I fancied. Mortifying." Several things strike me about this confession, not the least of which is what self-respecting 16-year-old spends her social life partying with her father? Secondly, Sophie-no-mates isn't half put off drinking easily, eh? If she thinks that is embarrassing, she should hang around with Irish people for a while. I remember seeing a friend of mine who we'll refer to as Neilo (because that is his actual name) drunk as a lord on one occasion in Ireland, with his top off and wearing a full Native American headdress (that was definitely not his), leading a conga line of 50 or so strangers through a music festival campsite at about three in the afternoon. Hours later when he finally made it back to our tent area, replete with pounding hangover, I asked him how in the name of heck he ended up in such a situation, only for him to reply: "You're joking me, I have no idea what you are talking about." The first thing he did was reach for a drink...

Speaking of music festivals, John Lydon claims that he is astounded that his newly reformed band, Public Image Limited, have not been invited to play on the festival circuit this summer. In an interview with UK tabloid, Daily Star, the sometime Sex Pistols singer stated: "We haven't had any offers. They have been quite negative, which has astounded us because PiL is the perfect festival band. You don't want U2 - that's a band that never should have existed. There's no life experience in any of their songs." Ironically, Lydon would have played a part in the headline act at this year's Glastonbury festival, had he agreed to appear on the latest album by the predominantly electronic act, Gorrillaz. The band's front man, and main songwriter, Damon Albarn personally asked the man formerly known as Johnny Rotten if he would contribute on a track, only to be turned down. Lydon described his reason for spurning the invite to the BBC, stating: "They gave me a bell but the answer was 'no'. I really don't want to be dabbling in other people's gene pools." Funny but he didn't appear to think that way when he contributed a vocal to the Leftfield track Open Up, another electronic song by an electronic band. John Lydon appears to have more contradictions than the Bible, and seems to have made the transition from angry young man, into crotchety old coot with effortless aplomb...

Having already brought up Ozzy Osbourne, I was actually going to leave out the news that his daughter Kelly had broken up with fiancé Luke Worrall but, well it's my column, and sometimes the copy is too good to turn down. Over the past few months, the world has listened while Kelly Osbourne talked, and talked, and talked, about how in love she and Luke were, and how Luke and her this, and how Luke and her that, as all the while the considerably younger Luke remained tellingly silent. You know the type, the person that comes around with their new significant other and tells you how they're thinking of getting an apartment together, have talked about marriage and even agreed upon a few names for their hypothetical kids, as all through the conversation, the other half of the equation sits there with a look like a person attempting to reign in a runaway horse. Well, surprise, surprise. Young Luke apparently found another Princess Leah recently when he was caught cheating. Not wanting to exacerbate her obvious embarrassment, I was going to leave it alone, a sentiment that seemed all the more appropriate when a reportedly heartbroken Kelly Osbourne thanked her fans for their online messages of solidarity with the post: "Thank you all so much for your support but the matter is private and (I) will not be commenting, enough damage has already be (sic) done!" I was even going to ignore the seeming contradiction when she later returned to Twitter to post: "i am not dealing with this very well :( keeping your head up is not fun! going to bed thank god for tomorrow!(sic)" My resolve started to crack however, around the time she got all Braveheart with: "you can take my heart but NEVER my sense of humor!" But as the posts kept coming, reports virtually on the hour reporting on how she was feeling in her private moments, I began to wonder, is there any part of Kelly Osbourne's life that is private or has she become a post-pop culture paradigm of public property? Then I thought, holy feck, Johnny Rotten's not the only one that's become a crotchety old coot. Just to finish this story, I would advise young Luke to take out insurance on certain parts of his anatomy, and I'm not thinking of his hand, just in case anyone thought I was continuing the Star Wars analogy...

I read last week where Kasabian singer Tom Meighan, wants to come back as Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin in the next life, and I thought to myself: 'That'll be a heck of a trick considering Steve Irwin is already in the next life.' Speaking to The Sun, Meighan asserted: "Steve was great and I've missed him since he went. I went to his zoo in Australia. It was wicked. I could work in a place like that with animals. I'd come back as him in the next life." I'm not sure he would have felt the same way about Steve Irwin if he had to listen to him for all eternity...

As we Irish continue to bask it the schadenfreude brought about by the French soccer team's World Cup meltdown, English people everywhere remain in shock at the anemic effort shown by a team that many had ranked with an outside shot to win the tournament. Like most of his fellow countrymen, a deflated Noel Gallagher has also reached the inevitable conclusion that most of the exalted, and ultimately inflated team, are simply not quite as good as everybody thought they were. Speaking in his characteristically frank terms to the BBC, the former Oasis guitarist claimed: "He (Wayne Rooney) played like he's been hypnotized in the tunnel before and somebody had whispered in his ear, 'See the round thing, when you get out there, you'll never have seen one of them before and you won't know what to do with it.' At the end of the day, they (England) are not good enough. Next season, when I'm watching TV, I don't want to hear about Wayne Rooney or Frank Lampard being world class. World-class means coming to a tournament like this and pulling it off on the world stage and they've never done it. Are there many English world-class players? I don't think so." To be perfectly honest, in order to describe the English team's performance, I would like to borrow a quote from German soccer legend Franz Beckenbauer, who said of his nation's team after the 2006 World Cup: "If you took all the German players apart from [goalkeeper] Kahn, put them in a sack, and hit the sack with a baseball bat there's not one of them who wouldn't deserve it." Just replace the word 'Germany' with 'England' and take out the phrase 'apart from Kahn'. I was also going to add that 'John Terry is one butt-ugly scumbag', but decided at the last second that that would be getting too personal...