Joe Kavanagh's Music News

Bono and his investment company, Elevation Partners, have reputedly upped their stake in Facebook, by an eye-popping $120 million, adding to the $90 million the group has already invested in the social networking site. Quite how they intend to make a return on their investment remains to be seen, especially given the fact that many experts have speculated that Facebook has already reached its peak, much like MySpace and Bebo who have both endured a precipitous decline in recent times, with the former losing Rupert Murdoch's News Corp hundreds of millions of dollars since they purchased it for a cool half billion in 2005. Mind you, Elevation Partners doesn't exactly have the greatest track record when it comes to acquisitioning stakes in companies, as evidenced by their $500 million investment in cell phone company Palm Inc. a couple of years back, which promptly saw the company's share price topple from $18 to $3.65. That little piece of business was enough to see Bono "the worst investor in America" by trade magazine 24/7 Wall Street, no mean achievement given the fact that it occurred while Bernie Madoff was still bilking people out of their life savings. In fact, the 24/7 Wall Street article of a couple of months back described them as engaging in "an unprecedented string of disastrous investments which even bad luck could not explain" while adding that the California-based company is "arguably the worst run institutional fund of any size in the United States". Yikes...

Speaking of dodgy deals, accusations of impropriety are flying after iconic singer Grace Jones pulled out of four Irish dates, with her management pointing the finger of blame squarely at an Irish promoter. The Pull Up To The Bumper singer was due to perform in Dublin and Cork next month but her agent Michael Schwenger accused the promoter of breach of contract, claiming: "The reported performance dates for Grace Jones in Dublin and Cork July 21 - 24 have been cancelled. The promoter James Delaney O'Neil of Rockefeller Productions is in breach of his contract by failing to pay deposits and advertising these dates without a fully executed artist agreement. We apologize to Grace's devoted fans there in Ireland and hope to be in concert there in the near future." To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't imagine that there would have been such a kerfuffle if there were a sufficient amount of Irish Grace Jones fans. Much like Peter Kaye's universal truth, which states that no matter how far you travel, you'll never meet anyone that has had their arm broken by a swan; I can't say that I've ever met a person in Ireland that claims to be an avowed Grace Jones fan. Not even someone over here on vacation...

They have been the bane of fans and TV stations throughout the World Cup, but according to a report last week, the vuvuzela is currently the hottest musical instrument in music stores throughout Europe. The cheap plastic South African horn has apparently been flying off the shelves in music shops throughout the continent, and has even begun to feature in the music of bands and orchestras around the globe. The vuvuzela, which sounds something like a swarm of angry bees, was even used by Berlin Orchestra, Konzerthausorchester, during performances of Brahms' First Symphony and Ravel's Bolero. I'd imagine that experience was about as pleasant as listening to Don Knotts sing Nessun Dorma...

While we are on the subject of quirky-voiced character actors, Bobcat Goldthwaite recently announced that he intends to direct a movie based on The Kinks' 1976 album, Schoolboys In Disgrace. Speaking to the Hollywood Reporter, the actor/director best known for his turns in the Police Academy movies announced: "Schoolboys in Disgrace is a story that any kid who has felt that they are not being treated fairly can relate to, all set to some of the greatest rock songs you'll ever hear." A half-crazed character actor with a the voice of a lunatic directs a musical based on an obscure concept album about corporal punishment at school, which was made in the 1970s but sounds like it was made in the 1950s; what can possibly go wrong? ...

Although some have already posited that she is nothing more than a media creation, Cheryl Cole will quite literally become the figment of someone's imagination, when she appears as a character in the long-running children's comic, The Beano. The Geordie singer will feature in several editions of the comic over the summer months as a friend of longtime Beano character Minnie The Minx. Manchester United and England star Wayne Rooney, will also appear in the same strip, but considering how poorly he played in the World Cup, I don't even think he could score a goal in a comic at the minute...

James Blunt entered the record books last Tuesday (June 29) when he performed a gig on a jet some 41,000 feet above the UK. The mark breaks the previous record for highest gig in the sky, which was set by Jamiroquai when they rocked out at 35,000 feet, some three years ago. Taking into account how much I dislike James Blunt and Jamiroquai's Jay Kay (the former for what he does, the latter for who he is) I suggest that both men continue to outdo each other until we have a definitive winner, ideally ending up with one or both of them shooting out into space ala the baddies in Superman II, or until we get some kind of Icarus thing going on. I think it speaks volumes about the shiteness of their respective music that the only way they can get a captive audience lately is by performing in a venue that you can't escape from. That's a tough choice because if James Blunt was the in-flight entertainment, I would seriously consider taking my chances on a 40,000 foot drop armed only with a life jacket and a whistle...

On a more serious note, Chicago act Madina were forced to cancel their upcoming European tour, after bassist Matthew Leone was savagely beaten, while coming to the aide of a woman who was being attacked by her husband. Leone's brother, Nathan, who is also Madina's singer, reported details of the incident on the band's website, writing: "This guy did things I can't even type. After words [sic], he and his beaten wife left Matthew unconscious on the street. Matthew is in the hospital with a third of his skull removed as we wait for the swelling in his brain to go down. I'd rather not share any additional information at this time besides the fact that he acted as a hero (as he always would in any of these situations) and is paying a horrific price." We genuinely wish him a speedy recovery. Sadly, many people suffer the same fate upon stepping in between warring spouses. I remember a friend and I once came to the aid of a woman who was being beaten by her drunken husband on a local beach, only for her to pick up a tennis racket and begin thumping us over the heads with it. We managed to get away without too much injury but not until we were down at least two sets to love...

If he were still alive, John Lennon would be celebrating his 70 birthday on October 9, of this year. A special edition of his seminal album Double Fantasy will be released to mark the occasion, which will see the record's sound scaled back to basic instrumentation, much like the special edition of the Beatles Let It Be, which appeared a few years ago, minus the Phil Spector strings. The limited edition album will be titled Double Fantasy Stripped Down, which sounds a little like the password one might use to get into Justin Timberlake's dressing room...

Los Campesinos! are down a member, after drummer Ollie Campesinos! announced that he has decided to call time on his career in the Welsh act. Writing on the band's website, he declared: "It is with very sad regret that I have to announce that I, Ollie Campesinos!, have parted company with Los Campesinos! When we first started this band we never expected in a million years that three years down the line we would have done and achieved all the things that we have. It's been an amazing experience and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. " I would imagine that he will also call time on his adopted surname, unless he is leaving the band to begin life as a farm hand in South America for the rest of his days...

Dublin went X Factor crazy last week, as Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh and guest judge Katie Perry arrived in the Irish capital in a search for pop music's next big thing. Such was the hysteria that met them upon their arrival, the Irish cops had to be called to protect Cowell and company from the huge crowds of overenthusiastic admirers that arrived to show off their varying degrees of talent. According to Walsh, Cowell was so unimpressed by the level of talent on hand the last time he visited Dublin, that the Irish music mogul had to all but beg him to give the emerald isle another try. Walsh dismissed reports that Irish entrants once again underwhelmed judges, saying: "I think the standard is incredibly high. I'm happy at the moment. I think we're going to get a winner. The standard is incredibly high, because everyone watches 'The X Factor'. It's our seventh season and at this stage people know what we're looking for." Mind you, this is Louis Walsh, a man who might know a thing or two about making money but when it comes to spotting actual talent; Louis Walsh wouldn't recognize it if it came up and kicked him between the legs, before bending over his prone body and stapling its business card to one of his eyelids...

Speaking of talent shows, I read where Dizzee Rascal, Jamie Cullum and Sharleen Spiteri are currently acting as judges on a new show aimed at rivaling Cowell's X Factor. Apparently Dizze Rascal cursed at the studio audience during shooting for an episode last week because the crowd disagreed with his decision to send a popular contestant packing. It is just me, or can he not see the paradoxical nature of him turning dog on a crowd for passing judgment on him, after he just passed judgment on some poor unfortunate? Just a thought...

Portishead main man Geoff Barrow announced last week that the band is ready to begin work on their fourth album, following up on the critically acclaimed Third, which appeared in 2008. That might not sound all that newsworthy until you consider that the band took 11 years in between albums number two and three. Incidentally, the story behind how they got their name is one of my favorite in music. Barrow comes from a small town in England named Portishead and gained a huge reputation locally as something of a musical prodigy at an early age, so much so in fact, that hipsters and musicians in the nearby city of Bristol would often say, "There's that guy from Portishead" upon passing him in the street. In a case of the egg coming before the chicken, Barrow had his band name before he ever even formed a band. The best birth of a band name for me though, has to be that of The Who, which apparently came about when, having played under several names early on in their career, Roger Daltrey and company were sitting backstage attempting to arrive at a definitive moniker for their act. Having just played a characteristically deafening gig, the teenagers were all suggesting names, their ears still ringing from the sonic ferocity of the performance. As each one would throw forth their idea for a name, they would inevitably be met with a chorus of "The who?" from their half-deaf band mates, until the group finally decided to go with the question rather than the answers... A belated happy Independence Day to y'all...