Joe Kavanagh's Music News

Though it seems almost quaint by today's standards, John Lennon's contention that the Beatles were "bigger than Jesus" caused an uproar when it was printed in 1966, notwithstanding the fact that it was quoted months after he said it, and wildly out of context. In the US, groups of people gathered and threw Beatles' records on hastily assembled bonfires, while the Vatican denounced the band as being agents of satan Now, 44 years later, the Vatican has forgiven Lennon for his comment, after its official newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano, absolved the late-Beatle last week, stating: "It's true, they took drugs; swept up by their success, they lived dissolute and uninhibited lives. But, listening to their songs, all of this seems distant and meaningless. Their beautiful melodies, which changed forever pop music and still give us emotions, live on like precious jewels." The apology is about 20 years too late for John Lennon, though if such thinking is to be followed to its illogical conclusion then he will at least be allowed in the pearly gates, after four decades of standing outside, arguing his case. In fact, the same newspaper recently published the following "semi-serious" top 10 albums of church-approved music: 1. Revolver by the Beatles, 2. If I Could Only Remember My Name by David Crosby, 3. The Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd, 4. Rumors by Fleetwood Mac, 5. The Nightfly by Donald Fagen, 6. Thriller by Michael Jackson, 7. Graceland by Paul Simon, 8. Achtung Baby by U2, 9. (What's the Story) Morning Glory by Oasis, 10. Supernatural by Carlos Santana. Maybe it's just me but semi-serious or not, they probably should have left the alleged pedophile off that list, given that they're knee-deep in kiddie--fiddler accusations at the minute...

Staying with the theme of controversy, UK election season kicked into high-gear last week, as parties began laying out their promises for what they would do upon taking power (which usual often bears little resemblance to what they actually do). The Conservative Party launched their manifesto to the strains of Keane song, Everybody's Changing, which must have seemed like a good idea, until Keane released a statement saying that they were absolutely "horrified" that their track was used by the Tories, and assuring their fans that they would never have given their permission for such a stunt. Conservative party leader David Cameron maintains that he is a "great fan" of the band, at which point I would have asked if he could name two more of their songs without consulting his Blackberry, because that sounds like a bit of a bluff. While Keane may not be fans of the Cameron and company, Take That main man Gary Barlow apparently is, as he took to the campaign trail with the Tory leader last week. Now I have two reasons for detesting Take That, and I didn't even need the second one...

While I would have to concede that David Cameron has at least shown some interest in music in the past, I am relatively certain that I am not the only one who found Labour leader Gordon Brown's recent declaration that he is a huge fan of Lady Gaga, utterly laughable. If I was there for that press conference, I would have asked him if he though she was better before, or after, she began collaborating with Lord Farquaad because if anyone truly believes that the staid Gordon Brown spends one minute of his evenings, sitting around tapping his Argyle-clad foot to Lady Gaga then they do not have the mental faculties to vote... Anyway, as Emma Goldman said: "If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal"...

I must confess that I've had my fair share of pops at the Osbourne family in this column, so in the interest of fair play, it's only right that I laud them when they do something of value for society. With that in mind, a story last week reported that Ozzy Osbourne handed over a gold chain worth $3,000 to a homeless man in LA recently, which certainly counts as an altruistic act worthy of praise. According to a witness: "Ozzy took the gold crucifix off his neck and gave it to the man. He told him to pray with it." I could be wrong but I'm guessing that the homeless guy's prayers were already answered and that the chain bought enough bottles of Mickey's to keep the guy on cloud nine for at least a week...

Whitney Houston's tour had a rather ignominious beginning in Birmingham a week ago, when the troubled star was booed loudly and lustily by many of those on hand for the first night of her European tour. After showing up late, Houston proceeded to take several 15 minute costume breaks, as she fumbled her way through a set that was often labored and off-key. The singer has been the subject of intense press speculation, after she cancelled the first four dates of her European tour, when she was hospitalized with something of a sinus infection. Speaking to UK tabloid The Star, she claimed: "It feels great to be on tour again. Making music has always been my passion. I love the UK fans, they're my core fanbase." If she keeps on alienating them at this pace, they will soon be her throwing apple core base but credit where it's due, the singer made her way from the UK to Dublin by ferry, in order to perform in Ireland over the weekend, as all flights were grounded...

The Scissor Sisters have added a little magic to their music, with word that the band has enlisted the help of Gandalf, a.k.a. actor Ian McKellen for a collaboration on their upcoming album. The legendary thespian recorded a spoken word piece for the track, Invisible Light, which includes lyrics like: "Babylon, where mortal diamonds tower (a place where) whores, gladiators and party children all wake from their slumber". I think I remember falling around that place one night when I had a few sherries in me on the Lower East Side...

Dizze Rascal said that he would definitely be interested in becoming the first black James Bond, after a recent poll in the UK discovered he is the public's resounding choice to take over the role of 007, should it ever be offered to a man of color. Speaking of his delight at the news, the rapper declared: "I like that. Yeah, that's big, that's big. Why not man? I can rock a tuxedo. The whole nation's seen that. I've just got to get my lines right, that's all." Why not indeed? If Roger Moore thought us anything, it is that you don't even have to know how to act to play James Bond...

John Lydon claims that he intends to reform influential act, Public Image Limited (PiL), with a view to releasing an album as soon as he can raise sufficient funding. The former Sex Pistols front man announced a while back that he would use the money he received for becoming the public face of Country Butter to finance a new PiL album. Speaking in an interview last week, he announced: "As soon as we've made enough money to be able to get ourselves into position of recording, we will. It's very difficult to start something up like this. It requires a hell of a lot of effort and a hell of a lot of work. For those detractors who think Public Image is some kind of John Lydon elaborate joke - the joke's on you, for not having an open and sensible mind enough to know that for 30 years I've provided nothing but the highest of music forms. And I intend to continue that." Yeah right, that's why he's spent the past few years going around singing songs that are almost 40 years old...

Speaking of acts who lost their mojo, I read last week where the members of UK indie outfit Supergrass have decided to call it quits, after almost two decades and seven albums. The band cited "musical differences" as the reason for their split, which is somewhat ironic given that there hasn't been a discernible difference in their sound since its inception. Perhaps one of them wanted to really push the boat out and use a triangle...

Amy Winehouse has reportedly bought a recording studio next door to Pentonville prison, which she intends to name Slammer Studios. Winehouse's ex-husband, Blake Fielder-Civil spent almost a year in Pentonville, as a result of charges relating to an assault. Given that the pair have allegedly reconciled their combustibly destructive relationship, I wouldn't be surprised if they bought the studio in order to build a tunnel to the jail, ala Gerard Butler in Law Abiding Citizen (sorry if you've not seen it!). Actually, I would be surprised because those two would likely be too stoned to even get the shovels together...

Brian May is determined to change the fate of doomed Welsh badgers, as local authorities weigh up whether to exterminate the majority of the shy creatures in the coming months. The animals are marked for destruction due to claims that they are responsible for spreading bovine tuberculosis, despite the fact that there is little or no scientific evidence to prove such a case. Strange really. Kind of like me saying that I intend to gun down every red-haired person on the planet in an effort to stem the spread of leprosy. Anyhow, the Queen guitarist has become the most vocal and high-profile opponent of the plan in recent months, as he has given a host of interviews in the media urging Welsh authorities to rethink their bloodthirsty plan. Speaking on television last week, May stated: "I got involved because I think animals don't have a voice. And I've become somebody who wants to give a voice to the animals." David Berkowitz gave a voice to an animal and look where it got him. Anyway, I don't know about animals not being able to speak; Ben Roethlisberger appears capable of stringing together a few words. Like: "Where I come from, no means yes missy." ...

Phil Collins is set to make his return to music with his first album in eight years, which - assuming it does any business - is probably the first that anyone has given a damn about in 20 years. The former Genesis drummer says that his latest work will offer up a collection of his favorite Motown tracks and soul numbers, telling an interviewer last week: "My idea, though, was not to bring anything new to these already great records, but to try to recreate the sounds and feelings that I had when I first heard them." It doesn't really count as an idea if you're idea is: "I've got it, I've got it. Let's do nothing!" Anyway, I do believe that one of the prerequisites of singing soul is the fact that you have to actually have one, so this could get fugly...

I also saw last week where Snoop Dogg and Lady Gaga both claim that they are very anxious to work with Susan Boyle. I'm not sure which one of those collaborations would represent the biggest clash of cultures but if it were a matter of picking which one I hoped would have a bigger influence over her, I think I'd rather see Ms Boyle take to the stage in the coming months with a blunt in her hand, as opposed to teetering around in stilettos, fishnet stockings and a see-through negligee...

Holidaymakers weren't the only people to suffer, as a result of the gigantic cloud of ash spewing forth from an Icelandic volcano, which shut down a plethora of European airports for much of the past week. California's Coachella Festival found itself short of a few bands over the past weekend, as acts like The Cribs, Los Campesinos!, Frightened Rabbit and Bad Lieutenant were all forced to cancel their scheduled slots, due to the travel chaos caused by the pesky cloud. Maybe the Vatican can have a word with the man upstairs and see if he can organize another one for the next time James Blunt and Chris de Burgh are touring, because talk about the devil's music.