The Irish Curse

By Gwen Orel

Know what "I'm a grower, not a shower" means? Well, you will, after you see Martin Casella's funny, sometimes formulaic, new play The Irish Curse.

It takes place at a support group for men suffering from anxieties about having tiny penises (there just isn't any way to euphemize this, sorry).

Their condition is, apparently, called "the Irish curse." Don't expect any nudity - just five men baring their souls.

It's a nice twist on a format that usually is limited to women - rarely do dramas show men talking about body image and self-esteem. Because they are men, expect put-downs, puns and p***ing contests (well, figuratively), too.

These Irish-Americans meet in a church basement - the set design by Lauren Helpern captures it down to the big coffee urn, the bulletin board and the two different kinds of folding chairs that need to be set up.

In fact, one of the play's first gags is when forty-something businessman Joseph (Dan Butler) catches his hand in a chair, while young Rick (Brian Leahy), in a jogging suit, busy boasting about his latest conquest, barely looks up. Joseph blurts out "goddamn" and then "great, I just said goddamn" in church. Expletives in church are a running gag.

Since it's set at a support-group meeting, all the action has to happen in it - through talk. Casella is too smart a writer to insert implausible appearances by wives, or sudden heart-attacks or break-ins. Instead, he investigates what really drives the men - their grief and shame.

Kieran (Roderick Hill), a newbie who actually hails from Ireland, arrives with Father Kevin Shaunessy (Scott Jaeck), who runs the meetings. Kieran provides a perfect audience stand-in to take us through what the group is, how it works, and to interrogate the regulars as they catch him up with their stories.

In addition to funny, fast-talking Rick, and frustrated, temperamental Joseph, we meet handsome gay New York policeman Stephen (Austin Peck).

When Rick becomes emotional describing how his brother, who also suffers from "the curse," tried to commit suicide, Father Kevin coaches, "Rick! Self esteem!" Rick recovers, chanting "I am not my penis, I only think I am!"

Stephen's tells how he is being able to come out to his father, who is also a cop, and describes hook-ups with people whose name he doesn't know-including a priest. Kieran is horrified, and wants to change the way the meeting is run - challenging stories, not just listening.

In fact, Kieran's outsider stance drives the men to new levels of revelation.

In one of the play's most successful moments, Stephen tells how he backed away from love on one date:

"..this guy was funny - and gentle and cute and smart - I should have told him all those things and I really wanted to - but all I could say was how hot his c*** was - how it was so sexy - and how lucky he was to have it."

Instead, Stephen leaves and never calls the guy again. What makes this moment work is that it's not really about gay sex or shame about a small penis, it's about withholding love out of fear - and that's universal.

Peck, who appears on "Days of Our Lives," looks the part of a tall, handsome cop and really sends this moment home; he's also funny in his blustering stereotypes about other ethinicities.

Joseph's story is touching as well as hilarious - his wife left him for another man, leaving him a note, with a picture of the other man's penis. "It was very realistic. I think she traced it. Then she left a place where I guess I was supposed to draw mine."

Joseph is Southern and repressed, and his insecurity sabotaged his marriage to the point where his wife walked out on him and their two girls.

In between these stories, the men joke - well, half-joke -about how much size matters in the world.

War is all just a p***ing contest, which is a chance to drop trou and see what the other guy's got.

Republicans hate Obama, Joseph speculates, because you know what they say about black men.

The frank talk and the laughs, not to mention the funny epithets the men have about their size (a bottle pop top, baby corn) keep the play fresh, but after two men have told their stories you know everyone will have a go.

Even Father Shaunessy tells his sad tale - it's partly why he became a priest. Father Shaunessy works as an actor on the side, talking about a speaking part on 'Law & Order', early in the play, and Jaeck nicely captures his earnest, jolly charm.

All of the cast do well: Leahy's Rick has an endearing bluster, and Butler's Joseph grumbles with flair.

Only Hill's Kieran is a little one-note - the other men are suspicious of his incessant questions - and the story Casella has him tell, about his deathly fears facing his impending wedding night, teeters on melodramatic.

But just as sentimentality threatens to, there's a knock on the door and Father Shaunessy has to interrupt a weeping Kieran to point out "we're only supposed to have the room for a few more minutes..."

Casella's mischievous humor and good sense of place keeps the encounter group entertaining.

Director Lenz keeps the sappiness at bay, and has staged some nice horseplay. He paces the depths of the monologues with the blue-language jokes in between smartly.

For women, the play provides insight into the mysterious workings of the male psyche, for men, safety in numbers, and for everyone (13 and over, that is), a warm, and satisfying comedy.