Joe Kavanagh's Music News

An Irish music promotion company is in deep trouble after they allegedly paid a $300,000 fee to a US talent agency in order to book Lady Ga Ga, for a pair of gigs in Dublin and Belfast, only to subsequently discover that the company was not permitted to handle the Pokerface singer's live itinerary. Grooveyard Ltd. had already begun promoting the two October shows when they were hit with a "cease and desist" order by AEG Live, who claim that they have an exclusive deal with Lady Ga Ga to book all of her gigs. The Irish company is now suing American Talent Agency over the bogus deal, seeking damages of $1,000,000. It's not even like they could recoup their money by putting a large bet down on the singer being a hermaphrodite anymore because the odds of that have been slashed from 5-1 to 9-4, since the story began doing the rounds a couple of months back. I'll say this, if Lady Ga Ga does turn out to have male equipment down below then I wouldn't blame her - or him - for dressing as a woman because that's the smallest peter this side of Fred Durst, whose Johnson is typically described as being like a penis only a lot smaller...

Undoubtedly, one of the most bizarre stories to emerge on the music scene last week was one related to Michael Jackson, no stranger to odd stories even in death. According to UK tabloid The Sun, Jacko conducted a series of recorded conversations with one Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, some time back, where he discussed a range of topics. The recordings will apparently be made public in the coming weeks, for a hefty price I'm sure, but the Sun printed a section of them in which Jackson waxed lyrical about a conversation he had with Lisa Marie Presley during their ill-fated marriage, where he discussed meeting with the killers of 2-year-old James Bulger. Jon Venables and Robert Thomas infamously murdered Bulger in Liverpool in 1993, in a case which sickened people around the world, all the more so as the killers were each 10-years-old at the time of the heinous act. Jackson apparently believed that he could fix the baby-faced murderers with a simple hug, and is quoted as declaring: "She (Lisa Marie) had a fight with me one time when two little boys in London killed this other kid and I was going to visit them 'cause the Queen gave them adult sentencing of life. These were like eleven and ten-year-old boys and I was going to go to prison to visit them. She said 'You idiot - you're just rewarding them for what they did.' I said: 'How dare you say that. I bet if you trace their life you can find out they didn't have parents around, they didn't have love, nobody to hold them, look in their eyes and say I love you.' They deserve that even though they're going to get life. I just want to say 'I love you' and hold them." Leaving aside Jackson's geography issues, what is it with this guy and hugging kids? I would imagine that there is a good chance that the next words out of Lisa Marie Presley's lips after that conversation were: "Okay, that's it, I'm calling my lawyer and we're going to be divorced quicker than you can say 'Would you like some candy?'"...

Mark Ronson is attempting to turn his back on his bad habits in the coming weeks and months as he takes on a climb to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, which he intends to do for charity. Writing in his blog last week, the producer to the stars claimed: "Goodbye cigarettes, alcohol, recreational pharmaceuticals. Hello, um, whatever else is left... cheese plates?" It's probably a good idea for him to get away from the drugs considering that it was just announced last week that he will be sitting in behind the desk once again during the recording of Amy Winehouse's new album because there's every chance that she'll drive him back into the arms of every stimulant known to mankind. While Ronson is certainly to be lauded for conducting his climb for charity, he is not the first, second, or even third celebrity to climb Africa's highest mountain this year. In March, a group including Boyzone's Ronan Keating, Take That's Gary Barlow, Cheryl Cole and Alysha Dixon raised over $2.1 million for charity by ascending the famous peak. They probably could have raised quite a bit more if Keating would have agreed to stay up there. If I was really mean - and if Ronan Keating had a sense of humor - I would say that they could have raised still more if he had offered to throw himself off it, but I'm not and he doesn't so feck it...

Dannii Minogue (I'm sure there are more 'i's' and 'n's' in her name every time I read it) claims that she became so upset when she heard that her sister Kylie had developed breast cancer in 2005 that she dealt with it by becoming addicted to Botox injections. I'm sure Kylie couldn't have gotten through the illness without her help. And here was me thinking that the reason Dannnnniiiiii (there's bound to have been a few more letters added since I last typed it) got Botox injections was because she was deathly afraid of looking her age...

Last Thursday saw over a hundred British acts, including names like Annie Lennox and Elton John, congregate in London's Air Studios in order to discuss potential methods of tackling file-sharing, a process that many contend is choking the life out of music. The meeting was convened after Lily Allen spurred an open debate on the issue, after recently taking several artists to task for their contention that file-sharing should not be restricted by governmental laws. Despite claiming that she would not attend the meeting due to the volume of abuse her blog had been subjected to by music fans, the Smile singer did eventually attend and was praised by many on hand who maintained that she had been the catalyst behind the whole movement. After a heated discussion, those present agreed to a resolution calling for a law to be enacted whereby people indulging in illegal downloading would be issued with two warnings before incurring a ban from the internet. Radiohead's Ed O'Brien, who had previously been criticized by Allen for advocating the rights of file-sharers, commended Allen for her efforts, stating: "She's taken a lot of flak for what she's said. What she's done has been brilliant because she started the process where artists have stood up and said, you know what, there is a consequence to illegal file-sharing. In the meeting, we didn't always agree but we came to an agreement that we thought was good for everyone. We're going to have further meetings like this, we're going to get together - we've realized the importance of doing this together."...

Despite conquering the charts with a record-setting 11th number one album in the form of The Blueprint III, Jay Z claims that he wants to branch out into rock music. The rapper, who retired for roughly five minutes a couple of years back, told an interviewer that he is going to consult Bono on how to approach his career in another genre, saying: "Bono would be a great person to work with. I think he's cool. He's good! He does so many things. He's had longevity, he's made classic albums, he's still relevant right now and he does so much for the world. He's a complete human being." He's a complete something alright, but while we're on the subject of Bono, the U2 singer was offered an invitation from the Vatican last week to meet with the Pope this coming November. If he accepts the invitation, it will mark the second time that front man has enjoyed an audience with a pontiff in Rome, having previously met with Pope John Paul II in 2005, when the latter famously donned Bono's sunglasses. Perhaps Pope Benedict XVI just wants to cut out the middle supreme being and ask Bono what the real plan is for the human race. It's like the old joke. Q: What's the difference between God and Bono? A: God doesn't think he's Bono.