Joe Kavanagh's Music News

The biggest story in last week's European music news was word that Ron Wood's year-long dalliance with a Russian cocktail waitress has foundered. The Rolling Stones guitarist famously walked out on wife of 23 years, Jo Wood, in July of last year upon meeting then 19-year-old, Ekaterina Ivanova, but a blazing row amongst the unlikely couple, at their London home last week saw Woods move out several days later. According to reports, the argument began when Woods refused to allow his young lover to model a fashion line that he is due to begin promoting in the near future. One neighbour described last Monday night's scene to UK tabloid, the Daily Mirror, stating: "The noise was just terrible. They were screaming abuse at each other and it's no surprise the police were called, especially considering what Ekaterina was saying. They row all the time but this was a particularly vicious one. They regularly keep neighbours awake with their fights. Some want to move out." Sources told the newspaper that the row really kicked into high-gear when Ivanova was heard to scream: "I'm going to kill myself. You are going to find me dead." Woods allegedly replied: "F*** off home you sl*t." Wow, this pair make Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee sound like Ma and Pa Kettle. Further newspaper accounts posit that Woods now hopes to reconcile with his wife, which will surely see him enter one of the biggest doghouses known to mankind. Jo Wood now has a get out of jail free card in any argument that they ever have from here to eternity. Poor old Ron, an incontrovertible case of "always the last to know" because every man and his dog saw this coming...

Bob Geldof is once again attempting to enlist a posse of musical acts and celebrities in order to record a track aimed as raising public awareness for a worthy cause. Former Secretary General for the United Nations, Kofi Annan has recruited the former Boomtown Rats singer, in order to focus public attention on environmental issues, in the run up to a UN conference on green issues, due to take place in Copenhagen, Denmark, this December. Geldof and the other participants will record a version of Midnight Oil's 1987 hit single Beds Are Burning. Some of the names already lined up for the cause include Duran Duran, Bishop Desmond Tu Tu and German rockers The Scorpions. Man, who else are they going to get, Rick Astley, Nic Kershaw and my postman? Not to be disparaging but unless they plan on taking the entire cast back in a time machine to 1985 then I don't exactly think that that line-up is going to excite too many young people. Incidentally, Midnight Oil singer, Pat Garrett is currently Australia's Minister for Environment, Heritage and the Arts. Yeah, I know, that and $2.00 will get you on the subway...

Singer Mika told the media last week that designer Christian Laboutin has given him the entire shoe collection that Michael Jackson was due to use during his ill-fated run at London's O2 arena. The Grace Kelly singer claims that Laboutin - who designed the footwear - gave him the collection as a thank you, after Mika stood up for him when he almost got in a fight with Robert De Niro, at an Oscars after-show party earlier this year. De Niro reportedly became enraged when Laboutin stepped on his date's dress, ripping off an entire segment of her garment in the process. Not for nothing but you have to be some kind of big girl's blouse if Mika is standing up for you in Hollywood fights. He's not exactly Mickey Rourke. Heck, he's not even Mickey Rooney. No word on whether there's any truth to the rumor that when you click the heels of Jacko's shoes together three times, you are transported to the nearest kindergarten...

Lily Allen responded angrily to recent statements attributed to Ed O'Brien, Nick Mason and other members of the Featured Artists Coalition, maintaining that the UK government should back off its efforts to clamp down on file-sharing. Writing on her MySpace site, Allen claimed: "I think music piracy is having a dangerous effect on British music, but some really rich and successful artists like Nick Mason from Pink Floyd and Ed O'Brien from Radiohead don't seem to think so. The Featured Artists Coalition also says file sharing's fine because it 'means a new generation of fans for us'. This is great if you're a big artist at the back end of your career with loads of albums to flog to a new audience, but emerging artists don't have this luxury. Basically the FAC is saying 'we're alright, we've made it, so file sharing's fine', which is just so unfair to new acts trying to make it in the industry. I'm going to be writing to British artists, saying just this: File sharing's not okay for British music. We need to find new ways to help consumers access and buy music legally, but saying file sharing's fine is not helping anyone - and definitely not helping British music." Allen's words struck home with Muse singer, Matt Bellamy, who asserts that that internet service providers (ISPs) should be taxed by copyright owners. Responding to Allen's call to arms, Bellamy claimed: "The end result will be a taxed, monitored ISP based on usage which will ensure both the freedom of the consumer and the rights of the artists. We should set up a meeting with (UK Secretary of State for Business) Lord Mandelson as he is on this issue at the moment. I'm sure he would meet us for breakfast!" By week's end indie artist, Patrick Wolf had added his voice to the fray, pointing out that he is financially struggling despite having what most would view as a successful career. The quirky singer moaned: "I don't have a Liberace helicopters and limousine lifestyle. I'm currently deciding whether I spend the last of my earnings this year from touring on recording the string and choir section of my new album or on the rent until December." He may not have a Liberace helicopter but his stage wardrobe looks like he borrowed a few of Liberace's more camp outfits. I certainly have sympathy for the likes of Allen and Bellamy, but given Wolf's propensity for throwing microphone stands at female stage managers and spitting in the face of basically anyone who disagrees with him; I'm all for any action - within reason of course - that curtails his career...

Elton John's reported interest in adopting a Ukranian boy named Lev has been put to the sword, only days after the singer claimed that he was taken by the boy's plight, during a recent visit to an orphanage in the city of Makeyevka. According to Ukranian law, a person can be no more than 45 years older than the child they are attempting to adopt, which automatically excluded the singer, as he is 62-years-old and the boy is reportedly aged 14-months. You would imagine that this fact alone should have settled matters, but apparently the Ukranian Orthodox Church wanted to throw their two cents in, with church spokesperson Father Georgy Gulyaev declaring: "Thank God it's impossible under Ukrainian law for Elton John to adopt a child. It's written in Holy Scriptures that homosexual marriage and relations is a sin. It is a sin, it is against nature, and it represents the dead end of human development. People pretend to have good intentions, create semi-marriages and so-called families, and moreover they dare to adopt children. Unlike people who are blessed by God to create natural families, these are people who succumb to their passions. This is definitely a sin, there is no other word for it, and the church will never agree that people who have created same-sex 'marriage' could also dare to adopt children. This applies to all, including Elton John. He is a sinner." No word on whether Father Gulyaev returned to his cave after issuing his statement...

UK indie act Subliminal Girls announced that they were calling it a day last week, with singer Jim Rhesus stating: "It is with regret that, today, we have to announce that we, Subliminal Girls, have decided to hang up our pointy shoes, pop melodies and questionable rapping for the final time. We thank you all for your support over the years, without you we would have just been five arguing boys, albeit pretty boys, playing to empty rooms across the country." The announcement drew large outburst of yawns around the music community, and even more declarations of "Subliminal who with the what now?" You might well ask why I am even reporting on this matter but Subliminal Girls will go down in rock history for one of the most misguided, if memorable, efforts at 'making it' seen in recent times. The act released only 10 copies of their Stuart Sample-designed, box-set single, Self Obsession Is An Art Form in November of last year. Each copy cost a whopping $2,305, but the band claimed that the release would "revolutionize music". As Jo Wood might say: "I bloody well told you so!"