Joe Kavanagh's Music News

With her homely looks, humble personality and extraordinary vocal talent, Britain's Got Talent contestant, Susan Boyle, has become a global phenomenon whose YouTube videos have received over 100 million views. As the final to the series now approaches, however, it appears that the affable Scottish singing sensation is finding it increasingly difficult to cope with her rapidly increasing fame. Reports last week maintained that Boyle, dubbed the Hairy Angel, considered abandoning the show that has made her a star, with judge Piers Morgan telling Inside Edition that Boyle has "been in tears repeatedly.... And, as of yesterday (May 26), she was packing her bags." Producers have since convinced her to see the show out to its natural conclusion and assured the media that they are providing every possible form of counseling in order to assist the reluctant star in dealing with her newfound celebrity. While they may indeed be providing her with all the help they can, anyone who believes that the producers are proffering all of this help for anything other than ratings and their bottom line, is sadly mistaken...

Depeche Mode have been forced to cancel more dates on their current world tour, in the wake of singer Dave Gahan's ongoing health problems, but his initial prognosis of gastroenteritis has now led to a far more serious diagnosis. While undergoing a series of tests to discover the true extent of his preliminary problem, doctors discovered a low-grade malignant tumor in the singer's bladder, which they have since removed. Gahan is currently recuperating in his New York home and doctors are sufficiently satisfied with his progress that they have informed him that he will be able to resume touring with the band by June 8. We wish him a speedy recovery...

More details emerged last week regarding the growing rift between former Boomtown Rat, Bob Geldof and his increasingly intractable daughter, Peaches, with some reports claiming that the pair have not spoken since February of this year. The rift allegedly occurred when Geldof became embroiled in a furious row with his wayward daughter, after she took part in a revealing photo shoot for lingerie company, Ultimo. When asked of her father's thoughts on the shoot at the time, Peaches claimed: "Dad hasn't seen the pictures yet. But I'm not worried about his reaction because I'm a 20-year-old woman not a 13-year-old girl. I'm glad I can earn money like this." Well, the photos went down like a fat joke at a Jenny Craig convention, because according to newspaper reports last week, the ensuing row between father and daughter saw Peaches move out of the family home and take up residency in London's plush Mayfair Hotel, where she has since racked up bills of over $63,000. Luckily for Peaches, she lives in a celebrity obsessed culture and simply by virtue of her being the offspring of a famous person, the hotel is willing to allow her to stay there free of charge on the condition that she mentions its name in her magazine columns and poses for photographs outside the establishment. I can remember a time when Peaches Geldof preached loudly and proudly against the very culture she now represents with such hideous aplomb...

In contrast to Peaches, who shows no obvious signs of talent, other than her ability to generate tabloid ink, David Bowie's son, Duncan Jones, has wowed critics with his directorial debut, Moon, which is expected to hit cinemas this fall. The movie tells the story of an astronaut mining helium on the moon, and critics are already referring to the release in reverential terms. In something of a Boy Named Sue turn of events, David Bowie initially named his son Zowie Bowie, but the latter elected to change his name, most likely as soon as he discovered the ability to fill out a deed poll form...

With names like Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young and newly-reformed Blur, already penciled in for appearances at this year's Glastonbury festival, this year's lineup was already being touted as one of the best in its storied history. Now, festival co-organizer Emily Eavis, has added yet more intrigue by telling the BBC: "There's a really top surprise on The Park stage which will definitely not come out because otherwise we'd have a health and safety issue. You can start guessing. I don't think it will ever be announced. It will just happen for those people that happen to be there, hopefully for the people that are fans of the band." Given the fact that the festival is already sold out and the fact that Eavis is not some Don King-like hype merchant, this mystery act could indeed be someone worthwhile. Or not...

For those of you out there that consider most of today's music stars as mollycoddled mopes who cry when they break a nail or smudge their makeup (and that's only the male ones), I would like you to consider the case of Alex McKenzie, of Leeds band, Official Secrets Act. The drummer was involved in a traffic accident in March when he was struck by, not one, but two cars while out riding his bike. Hardly the stuff of headlines, until you take into consideration the fact that he only went to the doctor's last week, where an X-ray revealed that the collision had in fact left him with several broken bones in his back. I don't know about you but the only other person that I can think of that showed that kind of fortitude was Man City goalkeeper, Bert Trautmann, who played one half of the 1956 FA Cup Final with a broken neck (in fact, he even attended the after-cup banquet and only went to the doctor three days later when the "crick" in his neck showed no signs of improvement). I submit that McKenzie certainly deserves the Bert Trautmann award for being a double-hard b*****d. Incidentally, Official Secrets Act have now enlisted the help of drummer Alex White, while McKenzie recovers from his injury, which should take about a week given how tough he obviously is. In a piece of symmetry that you simply could not invent, the name of the band that White usually plays for is, drum roll please: The Brakes...

Tom Jones claims that the advent of time means that he is no longer able to gyrate on stage in the manner that made him a sex symbol in the 1960s. Speaking to the Daily Express, the Welsh crooner claimed: "I am 68, I don't want to act like I'm 28. I don't want to be over the top. I still move but not to the extent I used to when I was young. It looks a bit silly like that. But I can move if I want to." I'll tell you what else looks silly, Tom Jones' face because he's had so many facelifts that he has taken on the appearance of someone that looks like they're in a permanent state of shock. His skin has been pulled so tight over the years that I'll bet the guy can fart out the back of his neck. Anyway, with his money he can well afford to get a set of bionic gyrating hips the next time he's in for another round of plastic surgery...

Seminal Liverpool act, The La's have reformed and will reportedly begin work on their first album in over 19 years. Best known for their hit, There She Goes, the band, led by reclusive singer/songwriter Lee Mavers and bassist John Powers, released their critically acclaimed self-titled debut album in 1990, before shunning the spotlight for much of the next two decades. They briefly reunited in 2006 for several dates before once again returning to their self-imposed exile, and they have consistently been held up as one of the greatest acts ever to emerge from Liverpool. Having been lucky enough to catch them live several times, I would suggest that anyone out there who considers themselves a fan of music should do everything in their power to catch one of their shows, if they ever do make to a town near you, because Lee Mavers is quite simply a songwriting genius...

Best known for his role in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, actor Robert Pattinson claims that he would be very interested in playing Van Morrison if, or indeed when, a movie is made chronicling the singer's life. I would suggest that if such a movie was ever made, Pattinson would require surgery to have his personality removed and then undergo a series of severe, daily beatings with an ugly stick for a prolonged period of time, if he is serious about capturing something of the essence of Van the Man. Either that or the producers can just go hire Humpty Dumpty after his fall.