Trekkers, Klansmen And Other Happy People

By Charley Brady

"Barbarism is the natural state of Mankind. Civilization is unnatural. It is a whim of circumstance. And barbarism will always ultimately triumph." Robert Ervin Howard (1906- 1936)

Well, sorry to disappoint you but I got my French trip out of the way faster than I thought I thought I would and it seems you're stuck with me for another week. I've been hosed down, given the happy pills and just finished reading through my emails. And it's YEEEHAW time again!

I want to thank all of the Klan members who decided to inundate me with mail today to call me all of the things that I wouldn't soil my laptop by printing. Do me a favour though, guys. Get your spelling right. I don't mind being called a "scumbag" but it's not spelled with a K in the middle. "Race Traitor" doesn't have an S in it. And asshole isn't spelled the way that you spell it either.

Where did you guys go to school? The Home for the Deranged? You lot are Aryan Supremacists?

Here's a little tip: if you are going to be as supreme as you fellas think you are you have to at least look good. I know that good old David is trying to educate you in how to wear a suit but it's just not working, is it?

Interesting to see that it took you weeks to get back to me - I had almost forgotten the article because that's how much pond life like you mean to me - what did you do in the meantime, get a few lessons on how to write?

Let me tell you gobdaws something: you wasted your money because you are still useless, hate-driven, Black-loathing, Jew-despising, kill-the-homos wastes of space.

You've given me all the threats now so just in case it wasn't entirely clear to your pig-ignorant ears, I live in the village of Oranmore in County Galway. If any of you lot comes near me you'll end up in - well, how can I put this? - the same state that you bunch of brain-dead eejits has promised to leave me in.

I very much doubt, however, that you clowns who decorate yourselves in swastikas without having a clue as to why you do it except that you like that ferocious little symbol of hate would know how to even board a plane.

So here's my suggestion and it is not to get therapy - you fellas are far beyond that - try to triple your dosage and get over the fact that this beautiful world is made up of straights, homosexuals, Jews, Catholics, Blacks and whatever you're having yourself.

Read a few books outside of "The Turner Diaries" and learn to THINK for yourselves. Don't be TOLD how to think by your suit-and-tie masters. You are only cannon fodder to them.

If you do that then get back to me. If you don't, then go back to wearing your pointy little white hats and burning crosses.

Is that clear enough for you because I have things closer to home to write about.

And by the way, give my fond regards to the Grand Wizard. I hear on the grapevine that I've made onto your Black List. That for me is worth more than a Pulitzer Prize.

And now it's "thank you America" time: I see that you had our beloved Taoiseach Brian Clown's side kick Michael Martin over on a visit to your country this week. Of course long-haul flights are nothing new to Martin as this is his eightieth trip away from where he should be working in the last eleven months alone. But the great news is that we get to foot the enormous €800,000 bill that he has run up.

I would say an even more emotional "Thank you America" if you had shackled him and put some black masking tape over his mouth. But no, you had to send him back to Ireland in order to do more damage. Well, you win some and you lose some.

I hope that you didn't give him too much time as the "Star Trek" premiere was on that night. Get your priorities right. A toss-up between "Trek" and meeting Martin is a no-brainer. Hope you didn't let me down!

I had one of them on my doorstep this week. Yes, that's right: they actually have the nerve to be canvassing. She was a lovely young lady and I would never be so rude as to slam the door in anyone's face (unless it was a Klansman, of course and then I'd be reaching for my trusty baseball bat) but it quickly became evident that she didn't have a clue as to what her own party's policies are.

Clown couldn't even get anyone to run for the European Elections in the North-West, with only 24 hours to go. No candidates from his own party, for crying out loud. Some recommendation of confidence that is. I've just heard that he's managed to dig up some poor fool to take the bare look off things. He must have had to threaten him with hot needles in the eyes and a poker into his unmentionable regions for the poor guy to take on that thankless gig.

We have breadlines here now, for heaven's sake. We're cutting back on childcare allowance and adding new taxes to anything that is animal, vegetable or mineral.

Yesterday we had five thousand angry people taking to the streets in Limerick because the city has been taken from them and they live in fear of drug-pushing, murderous gangsters.

We have our ex-beloved leader Bertie Ahern completely rewriting history in the most nauseating and self- serving interview I've ever read because he has his eye on ultimately becoming President of this "republic".

And as always we have Bono, hanging around like one of those bad smells that even industrial strength Dettol can't get rid of saying a big emphatic "No" when asked to contribute to a charity in his own country. And I'm not talking about Holland.

And yet, with all of the above I feel privileged to live in a beautiful country with people that I like and when we grow a pair and find some of the Celtic fighting spirit again I know and have to believe that we will take it back from the moneygrubbers and chancers.

Don't think, by the way, that I'm turning into some Green Party, Vegan, bicycle-riding, sandal-wearing hippy- dippy clown. I'll leave that for my declining years, thanks very much.

In the meantime I'll continue to be a meat-eating, smoking, hard-drinking fool who still is stupid enough to dream of a day when we will take Ireland back from the Fianna Failures of this world.

And, as always, I hope to see you again here in the bat- cave next week.

Same bat-time!

Same bat-channel!

And to Duke and his Klansmen: you give me any more hassle and I'll have Damien Foley and his amazing eyebrows onto your sorry asses! C

You can reach Charley at chasbrady7@eircom.net