Joe Kavanagh's Music News

The Brit Awards dominated last week's European music news, although unlike other years, this year's ceremony was a relatively tame affair with the biggest shock of the night being the fact that Coldplay walked away with no gongs despite receiving four nominations and having the highest global sales of any album in the past year, with Viva La Vida. The snub appeared to irk front man, Chris Martin, who performed at the War Child gig later on in the evening, and was quoted by The Sun newspaper as telling the crowd: "I think everyone agrees that the band to see at the moment are Take That. We've just got back from Japan, lost all the Brits - it's been a s**t day frankly, but it's going to get better." Big winners on the night included Welsh singing sensation, Duffy, who walked away with three awards and Kings of Leon who were good for a brace. Joining Martin and Take That's Gary Barlow on stage for the War Child gig were Bono and The Killers' Brandon Flowers, who all joined in a rendition of the Killers All These Things That I Have Done. Bono also praised, Girls Aloud, who received an award saying: "Seriously, I think Girls Aloud are at the cutting edge of pop music. They are a great band and deserve to be centre stage. They have everything a pop band should have - songs, the look, it's all there. We see ourselves as contemporaries of bands like Coldplay, Kings Of Leon, Interpol - and even Girls Aloud." Contemporaries? Surely antecedents would be a more appropriate term. Kind of like the time Madonna declared herself and Britney to be "sisters"...

Australian act, INXS, harvested bucket loads of attention when they used a cheesy TV show to find a replacement singer for the late Michael Hutchence, but they are once again sans singer after dumping their current vocalist in an airport. Canadian JD Fortune (real name Jason Dean Bennison), thought all his dreams had come true when he won the position of singer in 2005 and headed out on the road with the band for several tours of the globe, but he is now homeless after parting with the group. Talking to Canada's Entertainment Tonight, he said of the split: "I was in an airport (in) Hong Kong and literally got a handshake. They said, 'Thank you very much.' I found myself really alone because I had traveled with these guys for 23 months. I don't know where I am going from sofa to sofa, from night to night. I am trying to get through my life." He went on to say that the fact that he had become a coke-fiend might have had some bearing on the situation (you think?) but maintains that he has been clean for the past two years. If it's any consolation, at least his departure wasn''t as embarrassing - not to mention as fatal - as their original singer, who died as a result of suspected autoerotic asphyxiation. Now that's an ignominious way to go. The story may yet have a happy ending, with news that fellow reality rock TV show winner, Lukas Rossi, has invited Fortune to come and live with him, after reading of his plight. Talking to the media last week, Rossi claimed: "If not for the amazing fans and my loving wife I would be no longer." No longer than what? A piece of string? Actually, that's probably not appropriate ...

Speaking of embarrassing moments, after months of concern and speculation regarding the fate of Gerry Rafferty, it has emerged that the Scottish singer is safe and living anonymously somewhere in the south of England. In an interview given last week by his ex-wife, Carla Rafferty, she claimed: "He's fine. He's got plenty of people looking after him." Famous for hits such as Baker Street and Stuck In The Middle With You - as part of Stealers Wheel - the troubled Rafferty made headlines last year after a marathon drinking session went awry, leading him to seemingly disappear off the face of the earth. While staying in London's Westbury Hotel last August, Rafferty wrecked his room after a serious drinking binge and speaking shortly after the incident, Westbury Hotel director, Alex Huggan, was quoted in in the Mirror newspaper as saying: "He was drinking whisky like there was no tomorrow, bottle after bottle of it. He has damaged quite a lot of his room because he has been incontinent for four days and there was blood and urine everywhere." The singer was subsequently checked into a local hospital, only to check himself out shortly afterwards, sparking fears for his safety when he seemingly disappeared. Given Huggan's "incontinent... blood and urine everywhere" report, I'd say the poor auld divil probably just sobered up and thought "Oh lord jaysus, what the hell have I done?", and then went into hiding out of sheer embarrassment. Heck, I'd probably go into hiding myself if I had that kind of flashback, not to mind if it was splashed all over the national papers...

Lily Allen and celebrity blogger, Perez Hilton, upped the ante on their escalating feud, by engaging in a war of words on the social networking site, Twitter. After Hilton put himself forward for a part in Lily's next video, the conversation went as follows: Allen: "Oh, I'm sorry, we've already cast the jealous and bitter lonely old queen role. Next time, eh?" Hilton: "Jealous of who? David Beckham, maybe. And if I wanted to be a f****d up Brit, I'd rather be Amy Winehouse - whose [sic] got talent." Allen: "God, you're like so obsessed with me its embarassing. [sic]" Hilton: "Congrats on your album doing well in America, though. It's REALLY HARD to sell copies when u discount it to $3.99. Desperate!" Allen: "Its [sic] also number one everywhere else in the world d*****bag. Go away you little parasite." Hilton: "Aw, u can see I've lost weight! I am a littler Perez. But I'm still a big fat c**t - just like U! That's why I lova ya. Xoxo P.S. Thanks for advertising on my website. I'll take your money (or the label's) anytime! Allen: "I know you will, and that's what makes you a cheap ass whore. Now leave me alone, stop following me, I'm working. Bye x x" Hilton: "It's not fair and I think you're really mean! You're supposed to care! It's not fair and it's really not ok." Allen: "Hes [sic] blocked, just had to get to a computer" Hilton: "I can still read what you write, t**t!" It's kind of like Biggie versus Tupac with lipstick, stilettos and balloons on sticks, along with a first grade aptitude for grammar, punctuation and spelling...

Elton John and David Furnish's film production company, Rocket Films, has just optioned a movie titled, Pride and Predator, which mixes the work of Jane Austen with aliens. According to Furnish: "It felt like a fresh and funny way to blow apart the done-to-death Jane Austen genre by literally dropping this alien into the middle of a costume drama, where he stalks and slashes to horrific effect." Fresh and funny or just good old fashioned awful; it's a thin line. Director Will Clark has previously worked on a film called The Amazing Trousers, which seems somewhat appropriate given the fact that the word "pants" definitely springs to mind. Shooting begins in London this summer...

After first refusing an invitation to perform at the Eurovision Song Contest, the republic of Georgia has now decided to enter the competition, seemingly to have a dig at former Russian leader, Vladimir Putin. The Georgian entry is called We Don't Wanna Put In. Put-in, Putin get it? It includes lines like: "We don't want to put in/the negative mood/it's killing the groove." That's one example of why you have never, ever heard of a Georgian band. Really clever, eh? Almost as clever as poking the bear in the face with a stick after it has just thrashed you within an inch of your life. I'm no huge fan of Putin but Georgian president, Mikheil Saakashvili, has all the integrity of a used car salesman, who does an under the counter sideline in dodgy porn. The Eurovision is meant to be about camp, awful music, not war by proxy...

Another Australian band was in the news last week when Men At Work founding member and guitarist, Ron Strykert was jailed for allegedly making threats to kill the current occupant of one of his former homes. Further intrigue was added to the matter when the occupant of that home was reported as Colin Hay, former vocalist with Men At Work, an act most famous for their hit, Down Under. Strykert remained in jail at the time of going to press and I'm guessing that he's hoping that life doesn't imitate art and team him up with a cellmate that is "6'4" and full of muscles", particularly if said cellmate is amorously inclined. "You better run, you better take cover" is right.