Joe Kavanagh's Music News

Thirty years after the suicide of tragic icon, Sid Vicious, controversial punk pioneer, Malcolm McClaren told an interviewer last week that he believes the late Sex Pistols bassist was not responsible for the murder of his girlfriend, Nancy Spungen. Speaking to the Daily Beast website, the man who brought the Sex Pistols kicking and screaming into the public eye claimed: "No! I don't believe Sid killed Nancy. She was his first and only love of his life. As everyone knows, you may argue with your first - he lost his virginity to Nancy - sometimes might want to beat their brains in, leave them, move on, and be with others - but you never get over them. No. Sid was the sucker. The stupid, clumsy fool that night at the Chelsea Hotel. He passed out on the bed, having taken fistfuls of Tuinal. All around him, drug dealers, friends of Nancy came and went from room 100. Money was stolen and Sid's knife was taken from the wall where it was hung and seemingly used by someone defending themselves in a struggle with Nancy. Nancy was no pushover. I tried having her kidnapped in London and put on a plane back to New York. Probably, she caught this person stealing money from the bedroom drawer." I like the way he casually throws in, "I tried to have her kidnapped...", but if McClaren truly believed Sid was innocent then surely it would have been better to bring this information to the attention of cops 30 years ago. Then again, the welfare of the Pistols was never high on McClaren's agenda and I wouldn't be one bit surprised if he has something to sell and just needed a little PR boost. Sid Vicious died of an overdose at 21-years-old, on February 2, 1979, while out on bail on charges of murdering Spungen in New York's famed Chelsea Hotel, in October of the previous year. Born John Simon Ritchie, his intimidating nickname was actually bestowed upon him when John Lydon named him after his pet hamster, because he was "the softest, furriest, weediest thing on earth." If anyone earned the right to be called 'vicious' on the strength of their reputation, then it was McClaren...

He has bared his muscles for the world media, saved journalists from an angry tiger and even earned a black belt in Judo, but it turns out that Vladimir Putin does have one Achilles heel in his hard man image: a love of Abba! In a story widely reported in the European media last week, Abba tribute band, Bjorn Again, claimed that they were paid almost $30,000 (£20,000) to play an hour long gig at an exclusive resort near Lake Valdai, which is situated some 200 miles north of Moscow. The band's manager, Rod Stephens, claimed that the former Russian premier specifically requested the band's presence, telling Sky News: "It was bizarre, out of the ordinary. It doesn't normally happen that such a famous person would call on Bjorn Again to do a gig. Putin was wearing a suit and a bow tie. There was a lady there who we are calling Lady X, she wasn't a hefty old woman. There was plenty of speculation about whether it was his wife or not. The interaction was quite interesting. We invite people to dance along and to the delight of the band we could see Putin dancing along. He was even heard shouting out 'Bravo' after a number of songs. It appeared he had a great time." Kind of takes the edge off the whole action man image, no? It would be like hearing that Chuck Norris spends his evenings learning Culture Club covers on the harp, but we all know that that could never happen because, as Chuck Norris fact number 12 clearly states: Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano. Kremlin spokesperson, Dmitry Peskov was quick to deny the report; the one about Mr. Putin being at a Bjorn Again gig obviously, because we all know the Chuck Norris fact is absolutely true. I suppose we could get to the bottom of it by asking Sarah Palin if she can see Mr. Putin doing Abba dance routines from her house. Okay, I'm going to get off this subject now before I end up with a rectal passage stuffed with polonium... Amanda Ghost was unveiled as the new president of Epic Records last week and given the fact that her most notable achievement in the music world to date was co-writing James Blunt's You're Beautiful, that appointment scares the living bejaysus out of me. She obviously wasn't picked for her sense of good taste and I dread to think what acts Epic are about to foist upon us...

Rumors are abounding that Elton John has recorded a duet with Eminem, after the piano-playing singer was seen in Detroit recently while the rapper was laying down tracks for his upcoming album, Relapse. Eminem performed a live duet with John at the 2001 Grammy Awards, after initially causing a firestorm, due to the perception that some of his lyrics are homophobic. The rapper took some of the good out of his bridge-building with the gay community, however, when he later claimed that he had no idea that Elton John was gay. Unless you live on the moon (and you could probably even tell from there), saying that you didn't know Elton John is gay is kind of like saying that you had no idea that Dick Cheney was as crooked as Lombard Street after an evening of drinking with John Daly...

Singing sensation Leona Lewis revealed several details about her upcoming autobiography, during an interview with the UK's Sun newspaper last week, claiming: "I'm doing a picture book. A picture speaks a thousand words and I'm a big fan of photography. I got a photographer to follow me everywhere I went and I've got pictures of everything." A picture certainly speaks a thousand words when you haven't got a thousand words worth saying. She seems like a nice person but she's only 23-years-old, has had her life chronicled in excruciatingly minute detail in magazines, on the internet and on TV shows from here to Mars, and now she's giving us her autobiography. Churchill wrote his autobiography when he was in his 80s and even then he had to be talked into it. Now Leona Lewis feels obliged to get her book out there because she's "got pictures of everything", but I suppose if there are people foolish enough to buy it then good luck to her. What's next, coloring book autobiographies with free crayons? And here was me thinking Bill Cullen was cheeky because his autobiography begins 20 years before he was born - he's an epic character don't you know... Exactly, 'Bill who?' is right, but try getting him to realize that...

I know I'm supposed to just stick to European music news, but briefly, what the hell is up with Bruce Springsteen's face? I haven't seen that much Botox in one spot since scientists tried to get all the wrinkles out of a pack of Shar Peis...

Take That songwriter, Gary Barlow, was voted Britain's greatest songwriter by an independent poll of 3,000 people in the UK last week, putting him ahead of John Lennon and Paul McCartney, who came in second and third place, respectively. Who were these 3,000 people, Gary Barlow's relatives? Even 3,000 senile pigeons with frontal lobotomies could work out that the Beatles' songwriters should emerge above the songwriter for Take That. I'm guessing that Barlow somehow managed to hack into the phone system on the poll and then answered the call in 3,000 different voices. Either that or it was conducted somewhere in the UK that has absolutely no taste. Essex probably. Rounding out the top ten were: Chris Martin, George Michael, Bee Gees, Noel Gallagher, Robbie Williams, Sting and Kate Bush. No doubt Sting got in for lyrics like: "De doo-doo-doo. De da-da-da. It's all I want to say to you..." Given some of the names on that list, I'm surprised Sade didn't make it for her legendary line in Smooth Operator, which famously declared: "Coast to coast, LA to Chicago"...

The Kaiser Chiefs have decided to take a break to reflect on their fortunes, after their latest single, Good Days, Bad Days, failed to even crack the top 100 chart in the UK and due to the generally tepid response to their latest album, Off With Their Heads. The band are allegedly worried that they are suffering from overexposure and have decided to step away from the public spotlight for a while. Now why the hell can't Britney Spears ever think like that? I feel like I need a vacation from her. To be honest, I don't think it's so much overexposure with the Kaiser Chiefs, as the fact that their latest album is pretty poor in all fairness. And I'm a fan so it's not just me being nasty... For a change...

In the immortal words of Columbo, "just one more thing." Christian Bale. You supremely arrogant, spoilt, cry baby.