Joe Kavanagh's Music News

With the holidays in full swing, it was almost predictably a quiet week in the world of music news, but one intriguing story did emerge on the right side of the Atlantic, which had been buried for the past 30 years. According to a group of hitherto secret files released by the Irish government last week, in 1978, elements of the Irish government were so alarmed at the potential effect that the Sex Pistols might have on the moral fortitude of the country's youth that An Garda Siochana (Irish police force) launched an investigation into the band in order to see what measures they could take against them in an effort to curb their influence. Of particular interest to them was the band's Never Mind The Bollox We're The Sex Pistols album, which had just been released at the time, and a report filed by a Garda inspector concluded: "The title on the sleeve... would indicate that the contents of the record is obscene." Cops passed their findings on to the Irish Censorship Board, an institution renowned for its strictness at the time, but although they did find that the title might breach Ireland's Indecent Advertising Act, legal counsel advised them that they would only be able to fine record stores $4 each for stocking the album and would furthermore have to take legal action against each store on an individual basis. Needless to say, they declined to pursue the matter, but given the fact that the country was flat-broke at the time, the IRA, UVF etc. were at the height of their campaigns and heroin was reaching epidemic proportions in Dublin; the very fact that state resources were mobilized against a rock 'n' roll band is nothing short of astonishing. It is also a reminder that Father Ted may look quaint now but elements of the show take on the look of a documentary when held up against the Ireland of not so long ago. Also, given this knowledge, are we still to believe that it was pure coincidence that two undercover Gardai were in a pub in Dublin that Johnny Rotten (real name John Lydon) visited barely 45 minutes after getting off a plane in 1978? He had hardly ordered his first drink when a brawl ensued, which he always maintained was instigated by the two undercover cops, whom he alleges abused him for some time before he reacted, and who never gave any impression that they were police officers. Rotten was immediately sentenced to six months in prison but the punishment was later reduced to a £400 fine, or about $5,000 in today's terms but his brutal treatment in prison was enough to scare him away from visiting Ireland, until his appearance with the Sex Pistols at last year's Electric Picnic music festival. You needn't feel too sorry for John Lydon though, despite claiming to be Irish - until his butter campaign recently anyway - because he referred to us in his 1994 autobiography, No Blacks, No Dogs, No Irish, in the following terms: "The Irish like their country and western music played badly on accordion and violin. They're time warped." That alone is worth a hiding and a few weeks in pokey...

It is the time of year for making resolutions (and breaking them within hours in some cases) and rock stars are no different. After generating enough ink last year to make several species of squid extinct, Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty both swear that this year will be a watershed moment in their lives. While most of us are attempting to take up health regimens or give up butts (as in cigarettes, but hey, whatever floats your boat), the two troubled stars swear that they intend to stay off crack-cocaine and heroin permanently, after seemingly coming to terms with their addictions in recent months. In addition to her drug habit, Winehouse also claims to have been a junk food addict but says that her new drug free existence also includes healthy eating, telling journalists last week: "I love junk food, I always have. But it ends up making me feel sick. So I'm trying to eat boring s**t like fruit and veg instead of crisps, curries and fried chicken. Just talking about it makes me want it."

Doherty too appears to have come to grips with his demons after a lengthy battle with drugs, which eventually saw him serve time in prison last year, after more court appearances than John MacEnroe's favorite racket. The Babyshambles front man now claims to be a new man, telling reporters last week: "I'm sick of going around in circles. I'm clean now and I'm going to stay that way this year - apart from the fags and the booze." The sarcasm usually flies in this column but I sincerely mean it when I say that I wish them the best because if they continued the way they were headed; there might not be a next year for resolutions in both their cases... I read where Posh Spice said last week that she is thinking of easing up on her manic shoe-buying habit, not for any particularly benevolent or meaningful reason, but simply because she has run out of space to store them. Why the rush? After all, in a pinch she could fit at least a couple of pair in her husband's cranium because that place has tumbleweeds blowing through it. You didn't think the niceness of the last paragraph was going to last long, did you? ...

Given the UK's abysmal showing at the past couple of Eurovision Song Contests, where they finished last in 2008, they have now drafted in Andrew Loyd Webber to write their entry for next year, in an effort to improve their standing. The act who sings his composition will be chosen after a lengthy talent search throughout the country, with Lloyd Webber choosing six finalists. I'm not quite sure it will make one iota of difference but at least it will keep him from writing any more of those dreadful bloody musicals for a few months. Ireland sent a turkey puppet last year and I honestly couldn't give a hoot if they sent a bag of rocks with a wig to this year's event...

Given the music industry's reputation for youth and vitality, you might imagine that young bands would dominate the hardest working bands in show business charts but you would be absolutely wrong, according to figures released by the UK's Performance Right Society. In their study of which arena acts were busiest in Britain last year the top name in their chart was none other than dinosaur rockers, Status Quo, who played 35 gigs to over 300,000 people in 2008. Finishing out the top five were, in order: Take That, Kaiser Chiefs, Sugababes and the Spice Girls. If those figures weren't surprising enough, then a look at the acts who played the most gigs in smaller venues are even more astounding, where the top three consisted of Gerry And The Pacemakers, David Essex and Chas And Dave...

See, I told you it was a quiet week and much like the aforementioned Beckham, if there was any less music news last week there'd be tumbleweeds blowing through this article to be honest. If it's like this next week, I'm going to have to call Noel Gallagher up and tell him that Sting says he's a tosser just to get some copy... I might just do it anyway.