Keep On Rocking In The Free World!

By Charley Brady
"In free government the rulers are the servants and the people their superiors and sovereigns."
- Benjamin Franklin

I am indebted to Mary P. Biggins of Galway for reminding me of that quotation.

As regular readers will know, I have talked about this for years and yet, somehow, we allowed our government to forget this simple fact.

They work for us.

Still, good news for a change: the government now urges us to report any beggars that we come across and inform on their location to the police. They will then be taken into custody, jailed and given a €700 fine.

Unfortunate choice of word in Ireland, is "inform"; but still a good idea.

For example, I can think of several top-level bankers and speculators with other people's money whom I would be honoured to inform on.

They have the begging bowl out at the moment and I can't think of one of them who wouldn't benefit from some jail time.

While we're at it let's arrest some of the Rumanians who drag their children from door-to-door, specifically in order to terrorise elderly people who live alone.

Some of these people live in fear of the weekly knock at the door and I would love to see these European gypsies banged up for harassment.

Before the usual bleeding- heart suspects start to shake their little claws at me and scream "racist", don't bother yourselves.

Facts are facts and it is a sad fact that the culprits in this case are Rumanian.

To the hard-working Rumanians who live and are very welcome here I would say to you: sort these creeps out.

I'd also like to see Bono and Geldof arrested for begging.

Coincidental with my piece on the U2 front man two weeks ago in these pages, he has just been awarded Tax Dodger of the Year by "New Internationalist" magazine.

I'm sure that it's not the kind of fawning suck-up award he's used to, but richly deserved none the less.

Then there's - oh, wait, what's that? The government's attack on beggars only applies to homeless Irish who have fallen between the cracks?

It only applies to the poor devils that are on the side of the street with a cup in their hands?

Ah, Jeez, I knew it was too good to be true.

So in fact you're targeting the very poorest of the society that you well-heeled clowns created.

Still, it's in keeping with the upcoming EU directive that says all beggars will be off the streets of Europe in ten years' time.

I find myself reminded of a job I was doing in Sofia, Bulgaria in June of last year when we had the misfortune to be visited by President Bush.

All of the street people found that they were bussed off to who knows where rather than they pollute the sight of the great man.

Interesting times, my friends. Interesting times. Remind you of anything? Oh, let's just say for argument's sake Germany in the 30s?

As for the wonderful characters of FAS, the jokers who have brought such a truly good Irish organisation into such disrepute because the head honchos have been thieving from the Irish taxpayer for more years than we realised, can I just say this:

If you wish to object to anything that I am writing (and I represent only myself, not this newspaper) then please have a one on one confrontation with me. Face to face.

I don't care if you choose to do it via television or radio, or knowing the brain power of you lot, chiselling it on to a piece of stone that you've found while dragging your ape- like knuckles over the gravel.

Where do you actually start with this free-loading bunch of boot-lickers who were so heartily backed by our inept clown of a "leader", Brian Cowen?

They have spent literally thousands on themselves by flying around the world on the money of the Irish taxpayer.

The main culprit-but far from the only one - Rody Malloy - has resigned on a severance pay of €300,000 and a very pleasant retirement fee of €100,000 a year.

Now that is nice work if you can get it.

Greg Craig, who also has a very high profile in this ongoing scandal has been suspended on full pay (naturally) is going to be backed by the Union of SIPTU. Well, you certainly couldn't make this one up.

I, when young and innocent and still believed in both Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, was a member of this Union until I discovered that the real world kicks you in the groin and certainly doesn't believe in playing fair.

But that's okay and you guys taught me a grim reality. For that I thank you.

Finally, though, it seems to be sinking into the Irish people that you have ripped us off for years.

Look at good old FAS director Greg Craig's explanation for why he couldn't turn up for questioning in this debacle: there was no post in his area so he hadn't received his letter of suspension.

Well, let's be honest here: he probably has a point. After all, we live in a country where you are advised not even to drink the bottled water anymore and where ALL pork produces were pulled from the shelves last night.

I wouldn't even insult Third World Countries at this stage by comparing us to them.

And this is like something out of Ripley's Believe it or not: the FAS agency had to submit a document last week under the Freedom of Information Act that showed that these goons had commissioned a flight from Orlando to Dublin at the cost of €23,665.

None of them appear to be have even been members of the organisation. Ouch! But wait! There was a cancellation charge as well.

In your world and mine this would be for a minimal amount.

In the World of FAS, Greg Craig (who doesn't have a postman in his area) and Rody Molloy who has lots of postmen at the minute, the cancellation charge was €19,106.88.

Yes! We have no bananas!

Hope to see you next week.

Same bat-time! Same bat-channel!