Joe Kavanagh's Music News

One of the more outrageous stories that emerged in the world of music last week, was that of a German artist who claims that she is in possession of Kurt Cobain's ashes, and intends to smoke them as part of an art exhibition. Natascha Stellmach is currently holding the Set Me Free Exhibition in Berlin's Wagner and Partner Gallery, a show devoted to the "death cycle in three parts". The artist claims to be in possession of Cobain's ashes, which were reportedly stolen from Courtney Love last May, according to reports in several UK tabloids. Stellmach refuses to divulge how she came to be in possession of the ashes, saying: "That's confidential and kind of magic. They came to me. And I am setting him free." She claims that the ashes are currently inside a joint of hashish, which is being kept in an antique cigarette case until October 11, when she intends to smoke the joint as part of the show's closing ceremony. Stellmach says that the act is designed to allow Cobain's spirit escape "into the ether from the media circus", which is pretty rich coming from the ringmaster of said circus. Aside from the fact that I get a little edgy when I hear the words 'Wagner', 'Germany' and 'death cycle' in the same sentence, I'm pretty sure that Stellmach is smoking something a little bit stronger than Kurt Cobain's ashes. A spokesperson for Courtney Love claimed that reports of the ashes being stolen are entirely without foundation. I'm sure we'll find out who's telling lies in the long run because if Courtney Love has them, you know they're going to appear on eBay at some point in time... French fan, Clement Picon, has won the contest to provide the video for Radiohead's latest single, The Reckoner. Picon's entry was chosen from thousands of submissions from fans of the Oxford outfit and Thom Yorke claims the winning entry is "one of my favorite video things that has ever happened"...

Recently reformed Boyzone, however, are most assuredly not one of Thom Yorke's favorite things as evidenced by a recent meeting between the Radiohead frontman and Boyzone "singer", Ronan Keating. Speaking to the UK's Metro newspaper last week, Keating claimed: "Thom Yorke from Radiohead was pretty rude. We were at the same hotel in Dublin and I went over to say hello as I'm a big Radiohead fan and he just blanked me. I still love the music - he's just an idiot." I'm sure the feeling is mutual, well, except for the part about liking the music. What was Keating expecting? "Oh Ronan, you have at least as much talent as Paris Hilton and I just love how you didn't actually write that song that you mime over." C'mon Ronan, apples and oranges my friend, apples and oranges...

Van Morrison has announced that he will perform his classic album, Astral Weeks, at a clutch of gigs due to take place in the Hollywood Bowl this November, shortly before the legendary venue gets demolished. It was also announced that the gigs will feature many of the musicians that figured on the original recording of the album, which took place 40 years ago this month. Given Van Morrison's proclivity for firing musicians at so much as a hint of a transgression, I would imagine that some of them might be a little reluctant to sign on. The concerts will be filmed for a DVD release of the event which will appear in stores early next year...

Former Blur bassist and current farmer, Alex James, has just released a new type of cheese that he has named, Blue Monday, in tribute to Manchester band, New Order. James and business partner, Juliet Harbutt, have released a series of award-winning goats cheeses, and the bassist said of their new creation: "Our first goat cheeses, Little Wallop and Farleigh Wallop, are little niche cheeses, not a big hit single as we hope Blue Monday will be." I don't know if it's down to his advertising prowess, but the word 'cheesy' definitely springs to mind after a statement like that...

Although he has remained dignified and reserved since his messy divorce with Heather 'Wingnut' Mills, Paul McCartney has allegedly made his most cutting comments to date about his ex-wife, on a track featured on a soon-to-be-released album under his pseudonym, The Fireman. The track, titled Nothing Too Much/Just Outta Sight, allegedly features the following lyrics: "The last thing you do was to try and betray me/In new morning light/I'll never forget it/And that's just outta sight. I remember you well/Oh woman betrayed you/I couldn't resist you/When I made you,.. And you have money/And no manners." Macca has used the moniker, The Fireman, since 1993 when he began occasionally collaborating with producer, Youth, and the upcoming release will be their first since 1998. The legendary Beatles bassist will also feature on a new comedy show for British television, written by critically-acclaimed comic, Peter Kaye. McCartney agreed to work with the comic after bumping into him backstage at a recent gig in Liverpool, and Kaye announced that the show will be titled: Britain's Got The Pop Factor And Possibly A New Celebrity Jesus Christ Soapstar Superstar Strictly On Ice...

Singer, Joss Stone, has also dipped her toe into the television stakes, by making an appearance on the hit show, The Tudors. Stone moved quickly to dispel rumors that she was about to turn her back on her singing career, to pursue a full-time acting career, saying: "I'm not really an actress yet." That never stopped Madonna...

While we're on the subject of limited talents, Kelly Osbourne revealed that she learned all about sex as a child, by hanging out backstage at her father's gigs, claiming that her mother and father gave her a full sex education lesson when she was still only six or seven-years-old. Osbourne maintains: "It was something my parents have never been shy about. They always told us what they think and that we should protect ourselves." Maybe I'm a little old-fashioned but when I talk to small children about protecting themselves , I'm usually referring to wearing a bicycle helmet or saying no to strangers. Kelly also revealed that she is tested regularly for sexually transmitted diseases, saying: "I'm not the kind of person who talks about my sex life, but I'm not afraid to talk about contraception. I go three, maybe four times a year to get tested (for sexually transmitted infections) and most of the time I don't even need to. I just go for peace of mind." I love the way she says, "I'm not the kind to talk about my sex life..." and then goes on to do just that. To be honest, I'm pretty amazed at those figures because I would have guessed that the only way Kelly Osbourne could get nookie at least four times a year, would by traveling around with saddlebags full of Viagra, a stun gun and the toughest press gang you've ever seen. I don't think Enron even fudged their figures that much...

Finally, UK outfit, Dirty Pretty Things announced their break-up last week, after only three years on the road. The band was formed in 2005 by Carl Barat after he and Pete Doherty decided to break up The Libertines, due to a major falling out between the pair. The following statement appeared on their website last week: "It is with some sadness we announce the farewell of the Dirty Pretty Things. It's been a glorious three years which we all would gladly live out again, but it is time for us to try new things (not The Libertines)." Let's see how long that lasts because Doherty and Barat's solo projects increasingly have the drawing power of a leper discotheque.