Bhoys Go Top As Corrie Street Upsets Rangers

By Tony Quinn

Normal order was restored to the universe on Saturday as the Hoops went back to the top of the league they already own the deeds to. Celtic cruised to a 4-0 win over Hamilton. Goals from Shunsuke Nakamura (25) and Georgios Samaras (37) gave the home side a half-time lead and there was no way back for the SPL new boys who looked out of their depth for most of the game. Scott McDonald grabbed number three in the 75th minute and after Celtic goalkeeper Artur Boruc had made a fine penalty save from James McArthur, as well as the header from the rebound from the Accies midfielder, Aiden McGeady (83) slid in the fourth.

Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink has pulled out of the squad for Holland's World Cup qualifiers against Iceland and Norway, the Dutch football association have confirmed. Vennegoor of Hesselink picked up a groin injury during the match against Hamilton and has since told Holland coach Bert van Marwijk that he is unable to feature in the Group Nine double-header. Holland meet Iceland in Rotterdam on March 11 before travelling to Oslo to play Norway four days later.

The people responsible for Coronation Street have changed the dialogue in an episode of the show after complaints from obviously very idle Rangers fans. Fans of Glasgow's second team complained after character Tony Gordon - played by Scottish actor Gray O'Brien - commented about the non-European playing team. An ITV spokeswoman confirmed that following "dozens" of complaints, they had changed the script for an upcoming episode. On the show last week O'Brien's character Tony Gordon said: "I could no more be interested in Rosie Webster than I could support Glasgow Rangers." One of the character's lines in a future episode - that he was allergic to "warm beer, the English national anthem and Glasgow Rangers" - has now been dropped. Cross-Glasgow rivalry may not be the only reason for the Corrie Street script mentioning of Rangers - the series is set in Manchester - torn asunder by thousands of fans of the UEFA Cup Final losers.

Speaking of UEFA Cup Final losers. Recent reports suggest Rangers and Bayern Munich may have accepted bribes to 'throw' the Uefa Cup Final and Semi-Final respectively. Russian gamblers were overheard mentioning a plot to ensure Zenit St. Petersburg - the eventual winners - would win the competition outright.

A second man has been arrested in connection with an assault on Neil Lennon in Glasgow. The 43-year-old was being detained in police custody and was expected to appear at Glasgow Sheriff Court on Tuesday. David Whitelaw, 46, appeared in court last month charged with assault to severe injury. He made no plea or declaration and was kept in custody. Lennon, 37, was treated for minor injuries following an incident in Ashton Lane on 1 September.

'Show Racism the Red Card' has called upon supporters of all clubs to refrain from singing songs and participating in behavior that contravenes footballing regulations as outlined by FIFA, UEFA and the SPL and that may result in possible prosecution from the police. They referred to 'The Famine Song' which is being sung by sections of the Rangers 'support'. They are of the opinion that this song is racist. Both Rangers Football Club and Strathclyde Police have stated that anyone singing this song risked being arrested. UEFA guidelines stipulate that 'racial abuse' or 'discrimination' is not confined to skin color. It can also be reflected in abuse for being foreign or from an ethnic minority background.

In an obviously unbiased poll, the now deceased, Davie Cooper's goal for Rangers against Celtic in the 1979 Drybrough Cup Final has been voted The 'Best' Scottish Goal Ever by obviously bone idle listeners to Real Radio's football phone-in. Listeners registered their votes online from a short-list of 12 and the top five were:

• Davie Cooper v Celtic: Goal from the Drybrough Cup final at Hampden in 1979.
• Henrik Larsson v Rangers: Chip over Stefan Klos in the 6-2 thrashing from August 2000.
• Paul Gascoigne v Aberdeen: Goal from every psychiatrists worst nightmare.
• Jim Hamilton v Celtic: January 2006 for Motherwell - voted the SPL 'Goal of the Decade'.
• Shaun Maloney v Dunfermline: Super volley.