The Fianna Fail "Drink-in" And The Curious Case Of Sarah Palin

Let's get the shallow stuff out of the way: I would be the first to admit that I find John McCain's running mate, Sarah Palin, incredibly sexy as well as being a woman who has put real verve into McCain's lame-duck campaign.

Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he wins the election on the back of this rather astonishing lady.

Call me crazy, but don't you think that the weird mixture of looking like the planet's most fanciable librarian coupled with a really scary skill with heavy weaponry is somehow appealing?

It's like seeing Mrs Lillie Walton going out with a hunting rifle. Like I said, I'm pretty shallow but I'm also a bloke so what can you do?

Now the downside: I have no idea nor has anyone else whether or not she ordered the supposedly shotgun wedding of Bristol and Levi (Oh, how perfect are those names? Central Casting, you have a lot to answer for).

She believes in Creationism and would like to see it taught in schools. Okay, deep breath here: isn't that the idea that the planet has only existed since 4004 B.C.? And it came from a dude in Antrim, Northern Ireland of all places - a bishop with waaaay too much time on his hands as he worked it out from all those "he begat and then she begats." Who has the time to do that? Apart from a bishop, that is?

Now I may be wrong because it's definitely a subject that doesn't keep me up at night researching it. But I'm pretty sure that these dingbats who think along the lines of Mrs Palin believe that the Book of Genesis is one hundred percent accurate.

I'm now looking through my own-as you might have guessed, rather unused-Old Testament and as far as I can make out you women in the audience are to blame for EVERYTHING because you were tempted by a serpent.

Damn you! I've always secretly suspected that the world would have been better without you Tree-of- Knowledge forbidden apple eating chicks!!!

How very dare you spoil our absolutely perfect man's world?!?

I'm also kind of puzzled that Adam and Eve had a couple of kids called Cain and Abel, both of them brothers and obviously one of them as is -ahem!, sorry just clearing the throat before I go on - "documented" in Genesis as being absolutely murderous.

So where did the rest of us come from exactly? Even if they did have a daughter (which seems rather shaky) does that mean that all of us are the products of an incestuous relationship? Don't bring out the guns now, I'm just asking a question.

One of the most interesting things that I've found in this re- reading of Genesis is in Verse 15: "At this Jehovah said to him: For that reason Cain must suffer vengeance seven times."

Wow, seven times to be suffering the old vengeance act. Once would be enough for most of us. Then again I'm obviously weak and don't have the flint-like heart that Jehovah must have.

Mind you, since an intelligent lady like Sarah Palin believes in this clap-trap undermines the pure unadulterated fact that we have lost all sense of reason.

She describes America's illegal war in Iraq as 'a task that is from God'. What on earth can you say to that?

The murdering and maiming of people that you don't have a clue about is a 'task that is from God?'

How exactly does that make you in any way different from the looh-lah's who believe that THEY are murdering and maiming in the name of THEIR God?

We all bleed, don't we? We all suffer and care for our kids, try to put food on the table and be at peace with our neighbours, surely?

Just on a side-bar, from one who believes in sweet nothing at all, what the hell was that about with the increasingly insufferable Madonna deliberately insulting Pope Benedict last week?

If you want to be controversial don't simply stick it to the Catholics; go the whole hog and insult Islam as well.

Trust me Madge, I do it all the time and yes it worries me but at least you wouldn't be picking a safe target like the Pope.

The other followers of an equally ridiculous desert religion - you know, the Islamic dolt-bolts who get upset over a bunch of cartoons in a newspaper - they might not turn the other cheek.

Certainly these preposterous loop-hoops are not known for that. Is that why you think you're being laughably "controversial" by having a go at your own religion?

Through many years of writing I've come up again and again against people who can't stand me.

That's okay and perversely enough I admire Palin's stance on issues that are the exact opposite of mine.

Who knows? She may be good for your country. How the hell would I know? I don't live there, but it scares me that the American people that I admire so much can buy into this religious nonsense to such an extent.

In the last few weeks I've been called a snob and an elitist. That's also okay, because I'm willing to listen to anyone's point of view.

By the hokies, isn't that what we fought for? The right to a difference of opinion? But I was hurt by the first term, not by the second.

A snob just looks down on people. An elitist looks down on the drivel that many of our masters come out with. And that's all it is, as we see the entire globe going into economic meltdown - just drivel.

Talking about drivel, let's get back to the ranch here in Galway. To most people's utter dismay Fianna Fail - our leading party of the moment, to our shame - decided to grace Galway with their presence for their "think- in."

Well, judging from their bar bill I think "drink- in" would be more appropriate.

The security was so tight that an American visitor - or even an Irish one if he had been granted leave to approach the Exalted Ones - would have thought that these wise men and women who have driven the country right down the tubes were being threatened by Bin Laden himself.

Needless to say, our own journalists, many of whom would need to have their lips surgically removed from the backsides of those politicians that they have been kissing while hoovering up the free booze for so long were (apart from some honourable exceptions), many of them, willing to let it go that this appears to have been not so much a think-in so much as a blame-shifting exercise in utter cowardice while getting as much down the neck as is humanly possible

I can forgive Brian Cowen for having his sing-song at four in the morning and I can even forgive the out-of-tune piano playing by one of his hangers- on.

I certainly can't forgive the fact that instead of turning the laser on himself, Cowen blamed the No to Lisbon voters for the economic downturn, a disaster waiting to happen for several YEARS before the referendum. And this clown blames US for it? Uh, wasn't he the one who was supposedly keeping his eye on the ball?

I can only suppose that he was more intent on keeping his eye on how his mentor Bertie Ahern was doing - sorry, have to clear my throat again - with explaining his woeful financial shenanigans to the Mahon Tribunal.

Kudos to Gareth O'Callaghen who called it so perfectly on his excellent Galway Bay FM radio slot the next morning.

He's one of life's good guys but inevitably gets into trouble because he just says what he thinks. Believe me, Gareth, half of the west of Ireland was cheering you on.

When are we going to cop on in this country and give these self-serving, solipstic idiots the well-deserved Royal Order of the Boot?

We don't like you, nor trust you, nor would wish to buy a very old used car from you anymore so do the decent thing and fall on your swords while you have a few fragments of dignity left to you.

Hope to talk to you next week, the few of you that are probably now reading me. Same bat-time, same bat-channel!