Heath Ledger, There's Another Joker In Town

By Charlie Brady

There are tears pouring from my face as I write this; there are winds of change blasting through the open window. Gone is the legend, the truth- sayer who goes to America, that Irish knight of myth in order to give a spiel to the American people that almost nobody could be bothered to turn up to. As far as I know interns were asked to take up the empty seats.

Gone is the great man who has ruled Ireland for over a decade.

I have to admit that Mr. Bertie Ahern's speech was perfectly delivered. I particularly loved the true showstopper where he declared: "Ireland is at peace". So it must be a great relief for the victims and their mothers and their fathers to hear that the thuggery and kneecappings that are still sporaically taking place in Northern Ireland have been forgotten--- in the name of Bertie's speech. And nobody seemed to recall Gerry Adams assuring his crowd of worshippers that "they haven't gone away, you know".

It must also be a heartening and really wonderful for the people of Limerick, down in a Republic that has again been forgotten by a government that is supposed to be the original Republican Party. And that this wonderful city, where I spent so many years working and where I made some of the best friends of my life has now taken over from Glasgow as Europe's murder capital. I don't recall him celebrating that statistic.

It put me in mind, however, of talking to some of the soldiers coming through Shannon Airport last year on their way to Iraq. I was fascinated to hear that Limerick's unfair reputation had reached as far as the States when one very funny young soldier told me: " We were kind of nervous about landing here as it's so close to Limerick. We thought we might be outgunned". I guess that is what they mean when they say that black humour is funny because it's true.

When I hear all the nonsense talked about his legacy-and for once we agree on what he did in the North-on Northern Ireland, I just think more and more about how he was in the right place at the right time. What about Albert Reynolds and Garrett Fitzgerald, who seem to have been airbrushed out of history? But that's all right now because we've become best friends with the party who were the bomb experts and baby killers. Yeah, Brave New World all right and hang the begrudgers.

And it's all right now because we do tend to forget in this country. Sure, the 800 years of tyranny at the hands of the English that come up so regularly in ignorant pub conversations are remembered and will be remembered forever by louts that have nothing better to talk about. Do you think any of these clowns remember Bertie Ahern's boast that he was able to drink eight pints (a gallon, for Heaven's sake) before driving home? And I repeat that, driving. Of course, my own fellow journalists couldn't wait to let themselves down.

Having hounded the man out of office (correctly) over his still baffling and unexplained financial dealings they couldn't wait to queue in a less than orderly line to shake hands with the great man and be photographed having drinks with him.

There are notable and honourable exceptions, but for the rest I wouldn't be seen sharing a sink with them. I might catch something.

Never mind, he's gone now. Probably for a nice gravy train job in Europe, or to write his memoirs and go on the lucrative lecture circuit. Behind him he leaves a health system in a complete shambles. People have died pointlessly for years because of the bungling and lack of priorities from his party.

Then again what do you expect from a man who has a budget for make- up to the tune of 25,000 euros a year? And you would ask "for doing what? He's never going to be George Clooney."

The photos of him from the States, grinning that insincere grimace of his reminded me of nothing more than Heath Ledger as The Joker. More kindly, I suppose, I was put in mind of the dead corpse- grin of Britain's Prime Minister, Gordon Brown--- Or even worse, of his predecessor, the vain narcissist Tony Blair. (Who "only" spends around 4,000 on his make- up, by the way)

It seems sometimes that it is just a weary and endless attempt to try to make people see that Fianna Fail, the ruling party for too many years here should not be perpetually voted in just because their father and grandfather did so. I heard recently a man declare proudly that if they cut off his right arm he would vote for them with his left. That's not thinking, that's just a mentality that you can not debate with. I don't have any particular axe to grind here, since I believe in politicians less than I believe in God-and that's not in the slightest-- but I would like to see Enda Kenny, leader of the opposition party Fine Gael get a chance. Yes, maybe he'll be no different to the rest but I have a good gut feeling about him.

He comes across to me as a man of spine and vision, which paradoxically doesn't seem to come through with the media. I just don't get it. The man is talking sense (except for advocating a "Yes" vote for the Lisbon Treaty--- but that's a chat for next week); and I especially admire the monstrously hard and productive work that Senator Fidelma Healy Eames of FG has done for the area that I live in, County Galway.

There you go. I feel a lot better for getting that off my chest; and wherever my long- lost spleen is at this moment in time, I know that it is happier too.