Joe Kavanagh's Music News

Given the fact that they have launched tirades against everyone from Coldplay to James Blunt (and famously produced t-shirts emblazoned with the logo: Blur Are Shite), Mogwai are certainly no strangers to rock feuds. However, the vitriol apparent in their diatribe aimed at Keith Richards last week was a step up even for these critically acclaimed ornery Scottish rockers. Writing on the band's website, multi-instrumentalist, Barry Burns, turned his ire on the Rolling Stones guitarist in the wake of Richard's apparent admission that he snorted his own father's ashes along with several lines of Colombian marching powder, several years ago. 'I just woke up to find that average blues guitar peddler and all round unlikable London pirate-like arsehole Keith Richard snorted his dad's ashes on a drug binge. Well done Keith, you talent less publicity hungry horrible p***k of the highest order. He then goes on to say modern bands are a load of old crap. Right, but can we really listen to the opinions of a nasal cannibal? Keith, your band are possibly the worst band in the history of human events, worse even than Placebo and The Reynolds Girls combined. Your posh English singer sings with an American accent about a load of old American prostitutes he met once and your guitar licks are Grade F. The sooner you die the quicker my Ladbrokes bet comes in between you and McCartney you old d**k. I hope you kick the bucket in the most humiliating of ways, like on the toilet and then being eaten by your own dog. Stop living and give us peace you attention seeking non relevant oxygen thief.' I take it Barry's not the biggest Stones fan out there... Ireland's Louis Walsh has revealed that he is currently penning a tell-all autobiography that will dish the dirt on his many dealings in the murky world of music management. Walsh will take particular aim at Simon Cowell, who recently fired Walsh from his position as a judge on television show, The X Factor (the UK version of American Idol). A source close to the Irishman told UK tabloid, The Mirror last week that several chapters of the book will de dedicated to Cowell's relationship with Walsh, claiming: 'One of the chapters has the working title 'Never trust a man in heels!' It is poking fun at Simon's height and also how he likes to be pampered at the X Factor. He will definitely try to knock Simon down a peg or two and is going to give it to him both barrels.' Personally, I would imagine that you could give it to Cowell with both barrels of an elephant gun and it would barely make an impression in a head that big...

The Arctic Monkeys have revealed several bizarre inspirations behind their eagerly awaited sophomore album, Favorite Worst Nightmare, which is due to appear in stores this week. Speaking to UK radio station XFM, the band said that their latest album was inspired in part by Ricky Martin and they also claimed that they are considering wearing parachute pants on their next tour, as homage to such 80s acts as MC Hammer. Hmmmm, ok then...

Radiohead gave the first hint of what is to come on their next album by posting a new track on their website in the past few days. The track, titled 15 Step is available on their website, but in typical Radiohead style, you will have to spend a bit of time searching about for it. Oh those crazy Oxford cats...

Bring Me The Horizon vocalist, Oli Sykes appeared in court in Nottingham last week where he was charged with common assault, stemming from an incident where he allegedly urinated on a woman at a gig. The death-metal singer purportedly performed the act when the woman apparently turned down his sexual advances. The case has been adjourned until May 6 and no word yet on whether Sykes will be charged with assault with a tiny weapon. The singer denies the claim, but then he would, wouldn't he? ...

Damon Albarn cast doubt over the future of Blur recently when he was asked whether the band are still together. The singer declared: 'I don't really know. I think it's possible that we might be. But I'm not entirely sure we are.' He also said that his other project, Gorillaz, would not make any more pop albums but that they would be working on a soundtrack for the upcoming movie based on the animated band. Albarn claimed that he and the other members of the band would begin working on the film score this September and rumor has it that Monty Python legend, Terry Gilliam, will direct the feature...

Paul McCartney continues in his efforts to erase his ill-fated marriage to money grabber, excuse me, ex-wife, Heather Mills, with word that the title for his latest album will be a tribute to his late-wife, Linda McCartney. Macca's latest collection is due to appear in stores this August and will be titled, Memory Almost Full, which friends claim is an anagram of For My Soulmate LLM (Linda Louise McCartney). I doubt that Heather will ever have such an honor. Mind you, as long as she gets the money, she probably won't care a jot...

It appears that time does not actually heal all wounds with word coming out of Morrissey's camp that he will refuse to attend The Smiths induction into the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame next year due to his ongoing feud with Smiths' drummer: Mike Joyce. The two fell out when Joyce successfully sued Morrissey for a share in the band's royalties in 1996 and according to those close to Morrissey, the moody singer will only show up at the New York induction ceremony if Joyce decides not to attend. Bloody sandpit stuff really.