Tuesday April 11, 2007

ARIES
Mar 21st - Apr 19th

Mercury, the planet of talk your way out of anything moves into your sign midweek. Your outspoken and fearless approach may not win you friends but it will impress your rivals, especially when you boast about a recent sexual escapade that may or may not have happened, but hey, it sure sounds good! Flirty Venus moves into flighty Gemini midweek, your communication zone and long with Mercury in your sign, you birthday Rams are all set for a talkative time this weekend. Just be careful you don't bang on too much about your ex, the one that got away, your new love interest might not want to hear it at all. Misunderstandings between you and your lover might be quickly resolved once Mercury moves into your sign. Plan a naughty weekend just for you, him or her and a few necessary items of clothing.

TAURUS
Apr 20th - May 20th

One thing continues to bother you and keep you up at night. Can't you find a way to simply let it go bulls? Find a neutral party who has no vested interest in the situation at all and blurt it out. It might not be so bad. Venus, your ruler and the goddess of love spends her last few precious come hither days in your sign this week. Even if you swear off going out early in the week, this is one time to step out and see what everyone else gets up to on Monday nights. Avoid discussing money issues with your lover this weekend, with Venus slipping into your self-esteem and cash flow zone. Boasting about your recent pay rise or the cash your dad hit you up with might not get the reception you're looking for.

GEMINI
May 21st - Jun 22nd

Venus, the goddess of leave 'em hanging for more sashays her way into your sign midweek and for the next month or so, you have them eating out of the palm of your hand. Ask and you shall receive boys and girls. You need not be single right now, with Venus making you simply irresistible to members of the opposite sex. Sagittarians, Aries and Gemini's are all go to matches. So go to it twins! Mercury, your ruler in your hopes takes up temporary residence in your hopes and dreams zone on Friday. Share with your woman or your man; tell him or her your secrets, like your wish to quit your job and breed Maltese terriers.

CANCER
Jun 22nd-Jul 22nd

You have a lot of people relying on you right now and you Crabs are starting to buckle under the pressure or retreat into your shell and refuse to come out. Turn the tables on the ones placing all this pressure on you; give them a dose of their own medicine! The one area you don't have to feel set upon is your dating and love life. Basically because you don't have one! Change all that by agreeing to be "set up". How bad can it be? It could be pretty bad actually. With the Sun and newly emboldened Mercury impacting your career and ambitions zone, you don't have as much time as you might like for your relationship. Make time for your partner if and when they request it this weekend.

LEO
Jul 23rd - Aug 22nd

Someone close to you needs a brutally honest option, and who better to give it than brutally hones you? And while you may lose a friend (forever or just for a bit), in the end you will be proven right, once again. You've got great planetary players lining up in your love fest zone, so if you're not doing well with men or the ladies, change your tactics. Wear you skirts shorter, your heels higher, keep out of politically charged conversations and avoid overdosing on the vino or being a male chauvinistic oinker... Just because you're in a tell it like it is mood, doesn't mean you have to launch into a full scale attack on your partners family, wardrobe or rust bucket he or she calls a car. If you do feel the need to upgrade something about her or him, make a nice suggestion.

VIRGO
Aug 23rd - Sep 22nd

Your ruler Mercury storms his way into aggressive Aries midweek and with Venus the planet of charm canoodling in airhead Gemini, you'll find that common sense has left everyone and you are dealing with a ship of fools. There's a lot of power tripping going on this week and it could be too hot to handle. Your best bet is to withdraw your campaign for a particular coworker and let the others fight over him or her-literally. Make positive changes at home, even if it means prying the old, saggy mattress out form under your partner and replacing it with a brand new one or replacing all those warn out towels with some new plush ones.

LIBRA
Sep 23 - Oct 23rd

You're the person on everyone's "want list" right now, with Venus impacting your spiritual zone and chatfest Mercury in your relationship zone. Your advice is gold plated, your chakra is clear and you look fantastic to boot! Now's the time to get out t here and actively look for someone, as opposed to perching yourself on a bar stool and waiting for someone to actively look for you. You have this way about you right now, so hurry before it runs out. A little flirting never hurt anyone right? Sure that's what you tell yourself when a cutie bats their eyes at you and you're all ready to ditch your partner and head for the hills with your latest crush, bad girl or boy you are! Or that hot coworker finally makes their move on you, while your lover is home cooking for the both or you, you're a major flirt, but when you're in a relationship, you're in a relationship!

SCORPIO
Oct 24th - Nov 21st

Determination is wonderful and something you have in excess being a Scorpio. Just know that it isn't pigheadedness. While your motives might be pure (yeah right), you know that you can't force an issue. You had your time in the dating Sun and now it's gone. For a while anyways. It's a dog eat dog world out there in the cesspool of bars and meet and greets. Unless you're ready to pull your top down to your navel and drown yourself in lip-gloss, or spend a small fortune wining and dining women, stay home. Mars the planet of passion in your relationship zone implies that you're having oodles of loving right now. Not so you scream? Well hop to it and on it. It's written in the stars so don't let them down boys and girls.

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 22nd - Dec 21st

Take the long-term approach this week. Sure you like instant gratification and accolades, but once they burn out and burn out they do, you're left with nothing but stale lamingtons and flat champagne... along with indigestion. Mercury the noisemaker of the zodiac settles on Aries this week, your romance zone. All those boys and girls you never called back will still take your call, believe it or not, so drunk dial a few this weekend and see who makes you laugh out loud. Venus, the vixen of the zodiac does her part for you this week when she lavishes attention on your relationship zone. You'll actually feel all warm and lovey-dovey towards your partner- unheard of. Usually you're berating him for all those things he doesn't do or comparing her to every other chick you know.

CAPRICORN
Dec 22nd - Jan 19th

That thing you and a family member have been sidestepping for ages comes up again this week, and this time the talk is unavoidable. So stop being a coward and come out with it. So you bonked your sister's ex, you scrapped your dad's car, you sold something on eBay that didn't belong to you, but did belong to a relative. Pick up boys and girls, goddess Venus struts her stuff in your health zone for the next month. The gym, running, walking or walking past the gym (always a great pick up spot) is where you need to position yourself goat girls and boys. Settling family disputes hostilities is your main objective right now, leaving your man or woman to do their own thing. Sure it's okay if he has his crew over who trash your place, neglect your cat and eat everything in the fridge. He can't sit through another family dinner with you can't he?

AQUARIUS
Jan 20th - Feb 18th

It's time to make a stand boys and girls. If others are too timid to speak up and you're the only one with a voice right now, use it. You've done too little for too long now and let all the other morons lead the way. You hit full stride on Wednesday when the Moon shines in your sign. You are all set for a month of glorious dating, mating, romping and whatever else you single folk do, with Venus, the goddess of attraction lining up in Gemini, your perfect match and romance zone. Venus in Gemini and Mercury in Aries are like a breath of fresh air to you this week. You feel several pounds lighter and with that, a lot sexier. So stop with the muumuus and rock your partner's world with something that would blow in the fresh air if given half a change to.

PISCES
Feb 19th- Mar 20th

Life is indeed what happens when you are making other plans kids. It's time to stop forcing something or someone and drop it off in the 'had enough' basket. Make a fresh start this week and that means starting off the week with a new mascara or new pair of tighty whities. Venus, the vixen who loves playing matchmaker wreaks havoc in your home and family zone over the next few weeks. That girl or guy your parents have been trying to get you to meet isn't going anywhere. Go out with them and just get it over with. Mercury, the chitchat planet of the zodiac joins forces with the Sun in your self-esteem and cash flow zone this week. Rather than attempting to hide your bills from prying partner's eyes, it's actually better to come clean and confess. They might have some great suggestions for you, or you could suggest they quit gambling or shopping for a while.