LA Confidential

As far as I can ascertain, there is only one civic thing that all citizens are eligible for, and that's jury duty, yet almost everybody tries everything they can to get out of it. There are all sorts of excuses and ways of getting around not serving, even though most people agree that it's a valuable and necessary thing to do. But why is that?

The hours involved are one: you often get called with dozens of other people and have to be at the courts from the crack of dawn to late at night, only to maybe not get called anyway with just an all-day parking fee to pay. If you do get selected you can end up spending days or weeks on a trial, and that has real knock-on effects for your own life. Not only do you get paid an absolute pittance, but your employer has to like it or lump it - for self-employed people especially, it can be a real hit to the pocket book.

Anyway, last week I came into contact with the legal system, albeit as a mock juror at UCLA School of Law. Every year, student lawyers need role-playing court cases to practice their skills, and UCLA asks for volunteers to come in and make a decision on the evidence they provide for them. I was one of the four good and true in a fictional age discrimination case, and after four or five hours listening to mock "witnesses" and the students themselves, I came to a conclusion.

For a one-off experience it's certainly interesting, but even the simplest of cases seems inestimably repetitious and tedious. California is well known as a particularly litigious state, where people are happy to file suit for the slightest thing. It's depressing to think that there are endless lawyers and endless cases all involved in a large and endless circle in what often seems to win the right to say "I told you so".

Of course, there are some trials and litigation that are absolutely essential, and they are the ones that often bring out the worst in people. Los Angeles this week saw yet another shameful chapter in the seemingly endless catalog of cases related to child abuse by Catholic priests in Los Angeles coming to some sort of conclusion - at least according to Cardinal Roger M. Mahony - with the award of $60,000,000 from the L.A. Archdiosese to 45 people.

There are still hundreds of cases to be tried though, and it looks like they will have to dip into it's $4 billion reserves, perhaps even needing to sell of some of their 1,600 pieces of property, which includes oil wells, parking lots and even the land under a car deaership as well as churches and schools. No matter what the outcome, the endless criticism of Mahoney for his actions throughout the decades is only likely to get louder, the list of ruined lives even longer.

On a completely different note, another thing that is particular to California is the El Pollo Loco ("the crazy chicken") Mexican fast food chain, which also serves up marinated chicken treats. A big favorite on the West Coast - 85% of their sales are made here - the Irvine company is now thinking of expanding East, and announced that it's taking their tasty, spicy treats to New England and beyond.

Apparently the North East tends to go for burgers, sandwiches and hot dogs rather than burritos, so some re-education will be in order. Is it chicken, or is it Mexican? is the question at the first El Pollo Loco restaurant east of Chicago, which is at a casino in Mashantucket, Connecticut. The crazy chicken people are planning to nearly double their size in the next five years - check them out if you get the chance.

This week my better half and I spent a luxurious night at the Shangri-La Hotel in Santa Monica - as mentioned in last week's LA Confidential. It had the best view of any beach I have ever seen, but what we didn't know was that the hotel was closing that Friday for a year's refit, and we were virtually the only guests there to experience its - albeit faded - 50s art deco décor glory. Quite an amazing place, and we took plenty of souvenirs - the soap, shampoo, envelopes and writing paper!

UNPLEASANT TREND OF THE WEEK AWARD - as I have mentioned in the column many times before, I really hate people who have dogs and treat them as surrogate children or fashion accessories, or become really obnoxious and indignant if you even dare think that they shouldn't bring them into restaurants, or feed them at the table - hell, even if they jump or bark at you (and scratch my leg, as happened to me recently).

So you can imagine my despair when I read in local paper The Beverly Press this week that a number of malls and shopping centers in and around my part of town are happily allowing people to take their dogs inside hipster places like Hollywood & Highland, the Beverly Center and The Grove (the latter houses my regular bar, 326, and I often watch movies there).

Have they no idea about health and safety? Dogs lick themselves and other dogs and yet these people kiss and nuzzle them - it's disgusting and obnoxious. Get that dog out of my space and put it on the floor: it has four paws to walk on! Sorry dog lovers, but in Los Angeles it's out of all proportion.

Also out of proportion here is the way people feel they have a right to park anywhere they like, especially in certain parts of town like Westwood, where former Presidential candidate Michael Dukakis has done some real good and sent shockwaves through the well-heeled area.

The roads around Westwood are often full of illegally-parked cars that block driveways, sidewalks and even whole streets, and Dukakis has finally won a two year battle to get the LAPD to start ticketing offenders come the new year. There are nearly 6000 vehicles on the area and barely 1000 legal parking places, so there are a lot of SUV owners that are getting worried - sadly though there are many students amongst them too, as UCLA is right nearby.

THE GAVEL AWARD this week goes to an auction held in Downey, where - after being entertained by The Pointer Sisters - attendees could bid on numerous items including a 1948 Chrysler Windsor Convertible, and, believe it or not, Abraham Lincoln's cane, sword and tea set!

In the movie news this week, the "Prince of Piracy", Johnny Ray Gasca, was jailed for seven years for illegally taping movies in theatres and other crimes. It's a huge victory for the movie industry in its billion-dollar fight against piracy, and despite Gasca's seemingly innovative and high-tech ways of taping movies in the theaters, he reached the end of his lucrative line.

At the Box Office this weekend Happy Feet was #1 for the third week in a row ahead of Casino Royale, the latter of which we saw the other day and thoroughly enjoyed. Daniel Craig was an excellent new James Bond, and he's definitely leading man material now. Fair play to him, he really worked hard at it. We also saw The History Boys, based on the play by Alan Bennett, which was largely filmed at my old school!

Other movie snippets from this week: Nicole Kidman is the #1 highest paid film actress. She earns around $17m per movie, with Reese Witherspoon and Renee Zellweger coming in an equal second at $15m. That said, Kidman's latest, Fur, the biopic of photographer Diane Arbus, bombed at the box office and only Zellweger has a movie due out soon: the story of English children's author Beatrix Potter. Also amazingly in the Top 10 are Halle Berry, Kirsten Dunst and Charlize Theron: what were their last hit movies? Either there are no actresses around, or that list is going to look very different next year.

Finally, the SHOCK OF THE WEEK AWARD goes to Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock, who announced their divorce after less than four months of marriage. How can that be? I thought they were soul mates, bonded for life...